This is NOT A DIARY!
by ZoologyKaM
Summary: Hello strange humans! My name is Purple! I am a smeet of the superior Irken race. This is my journal that I am keeping to stave off boredom of training in the Undergrounds of Irk. I'll let you read it as long as you don't tell Red about it, ok? Hey guess what! I saw Tallest Miyuki earlier!
1. Intro and Year 5 day 468

**_A/N: _**_Welcome to another story by me! Wow I'm doing way too many! This story may or may not be connected to my other stories. I'm not sure yet. For the moment I'm thinking it's a different universe than Irken in Love and Return to Irk but since it takes place before Zim ever gets to earth I don't think it will matter too much. _

_Just want to point out that this story is not just a look into a smeets life. After all it is a very special future tallest that is writing it, right? Why would it be boring and normal? For the first time I know where a story is going and this is going to be good I promise._

_Anyway here's the first chapter! Enjoy!_

* * *

My name is Purple! I am a smeet of the superior Irken race. I am currently in training to become a soldier.

Before you jump to any conclusions this IS NOT A DIARY! This is a practice report log… I'm keeping it because one of our teachers mentioned that keeping a journal was a good way to improve memory. Not that I need it! My memory is perfect! Not a single defect! So to reiterate, this is not a diary this is me killing the boredom of living in the undergrounds of Irk.

I got the idea to start it yesterday, but I can only write when we have our break from classes (once every 5-8 days) and when Red's not around because I don't want him making fun of me. Anyway as long as you understand that this is not some girly diary, and you promise not to tell Red anything that's in this, then I don't really mind if you inferior humans read it.

Ok! Here we go!

* * *

**Year 5 Day 468**

I think I grew another inch today! It's hard to tell though, since Red is the only one near my height. Today was as boring as every other day down here. I won't tell anyone I think it's boring though since I don't want to be compared with a certain someone.

Speaking of that someone, Red got in another fight with him. Stupid Zim… I mean how annoying does an Irken have to be before everyone admits they're defective?

Anyway we were running mock battles today and Red and I got paired up. He took command as usual. I don't mind letting Red be in charge, it is more fun to actually be the one fighting anyway. So while Red has to sit back and organize our team I get to beat up the shorter weaker smeets. I never fight as well as I actually could though. I don't want Red to realize that I'm better at fighting than he is. He gets so competitive.

Either way it's great when he and I get teamed up. It was even better since I got to show off my fighting in front of Almighty Tallest Miyuki who came to observe for the day. If I'm lucky she saw how great me and Red are, and will pull us out of the Underground early.

But yeah, our opponents for today? Yup! You guessed it! Zim and his little follower… umm… Skidge or something… I always forget his name… Not that I really try to remember. If he wants to be around Zim that makes him just as stupid. Though I guess he probably wouldn't be as annoying if he didn't always follow Zim. But he does so that's that.

The battle simulation started off like any other. Red organized our team so that while I flanked one side a few, not as good as me but still kind of good, fighters went to the other side. We had Zim's team totally outmatched. That annoying shorty doesn't even know how to lead. I kind of feel bad for the ones that get assigned with him. He runs them into the ground in the first two minutes.

Well he normally does. The Cheater… I hit Zim so hard for what he did. If his squeedlyspooch doesn't heal for another week I wouldn't be surprised. The cheater tried to rip Red's PAK off! Which not only is it against the rules! He went out of bounds to get around us to do it! Double Cheater!

And as if he couldn't get any worse, when he failed to remove Red's PAK, he pulled out a laser and shot Red! He wasn't even supposed to have a laser! He always cheats… and yet he never gets in trouble… it just isn't fair.


	2. Year 5 Day 489

_**A/N: **Two things:  
**First off** since this is written like a journal not all days will be super exciting, on the other hand there will be some like the next chapter that has a lot of things happening. Chapter length will be varied accordingly.  
**Second off** this story isn't just random how Purple's day went. It will have a plot to it. There is a reason I listed it as hurt/comfort._

* * *

**Year 5 Day 489**

Man was I surprised. Tallest Miyuki came again today! I think all of us were surprised. Seeing the Almighty Tallest twice in one week? It was definitely cool!

She sat and talked to our trainers while we ran some more battle simulations. Today's battles were horrible… Zim got to pick first and I know he did it just to screw with us but he picked me first… He totally did it just to get under Red's skin. And unfortunately it worked. Red always has been a bit of a hothead.

Why the instructors always let Zim be the commander I'll never understand.

So anyway I didn't feel like getting beaten to a pulp so I tricked Zim into sending out the worse fighters in the front while I hung back to protect Zim personally. And by protect him I mean 'accidently' let the enemy run right past me to beat him to a gooey pulp.

Red and I both got a laugh out of it, though I got in trouble for not protecting my commander. Zim didn't even get yelled at for sending most of his team to their simulational dooms. Like I said before… Not Fair.


	3. Year 5 Day 501-Picked on by Miyuki

**Year 5 Day 501**

Sorry this entry is a bit long... A lot happened today and I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything. I hope you'll still read it. Even if you are a pathetic species it would be neat to know what you think!

Ok here goes!

* * *

You'll never believe it but Tallest Miyuki is back AGAIN! I talked to some of the older smeets and they say they've never seen her come to their groups at all! Everyone's talking about it. Red came up with this theory that she's looking for future elites. I kind of doubt that because Elites are chosen by high ranking Tallers not by the Tallest herself.

Zim was yelling something about her seeing his potential. I might actually believe that one if we're talking about his potential as a threat to our species.

Oh hang on. We're going to run another simulation. I hope Zim's not picking first this time…

-later-

THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! Zim picked first and picked me (that's not the incredible part) and I started grumbling. The Almighty Tallest Herself was the one to yell at me of all irkens!

"It's not for the soldier to choose his commander. Only to obey and help their commander succeed," she said.

I didn't get it at first but getting told by the Tallest to take this seriously… doesn't leave much room for argument. So I actually fought in the front. I didn't try overly hard because even if I was told to… I didn't want to help Zim succeed. That wasn't a good idea though.

Tallest Miyuki stood up in the middle of the battle and had our instructor cancel it. Boy did that confuse us. They called time out right as Red was preparing to punch Zim in the face. I could see the disappointment in Red's eyes. I don't blame him.

Okay but here's the incredible part. Tallest Miyuki left and a few minutes later one of our instructors came and told me to follow him.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"You'll find out in a moment." He didn't look like he would give up any information so I just followed him quietly. We stopped outside one of the coordinator's rooms and I was ushered inside.

"Ah, good." Tallest Miyuki was in the room. She floated over when we entered. "Hello young Irken." Her smile was really kind when she looked at me. I was so nervous that I couldn't do anything other than nod. Tallest Miyuki laughed. "Don't be so nervous. I just want to talk." She waved off my instructor who left the room. She then floated over to the couch and sat down. "Come sit."

I went and sat down on the other couch facing her. Tallest Miyuki leaned back on the couch. She looked up at me with her deep blue eyes.

"You are called Purple right?" She asked me. I nodded. "Well alright, Purple, I wanted to talk to you about things I've heard from your instructors."

"Forgive me My Tallest." I bowed and lowered my antennae trying to seem like I was sorry. She had already yelled at me once. It was pretty scary and I didn't want to get in any more trouble. "If this is about my behavior when I'm on Zim's team then I fully accept responsibility for my actions."

Tallest Miyuki started laughing. "No, no. While that Was why I put today's simulation on hold it is not why I've been coming to observe you and your yearlings. Actually I've been coming to observe your progress. I've heard many good things about you and your friend Red."

I looked up at her and asked, "good things?"

She nodded, "Yes, your instructors say you both are elite material and your height is already above that of your peers. Though I am curious why you were not fighting your hardest during that simulation. That is the actual reason I called for a stop."

I was shocked, "you could tell I wasn't fighting hard?"

Tallest Miyuki nodded, "I was here earlier during combat practice. I watched a bit of your sparing with your friend Red."

"But I lost to Red today," I said trying to cover up. Tallest Miyuki just shook her head.

"Don't think you can trick me like you did your friend. I know you lost that on purpose." She gave me a stern look. I couldn't believe it! No one had ever noticed I was losing fights on purpose before. I was on my feet before I could stop myself.

"How did you know!?" Soon as I realized I had just yelled at The Tallest I dropped my antennae and sat back down. I restated my question a little quieter, and with more respect, the second time around.

Tallest Miyuki didn't get mad at me for yelling; instead she just smiled at me. "Each hit you took landed in such a way that no real damage was done to you. You let your friend think he was hitting you more than he was, and then you let in one good hit at the end to fake the loss. Am I right?"

I couldn't do anything other than stare at the floor. That was so embarrassing… someone actually noticed… Irkens are not supposed to lose or show compassion… but Red gets so upset when he loses and I don't want him mad at me… I started to feel scared that she would call me defective. I tried to say something in my defense but I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Calm down. It's not necessarily a bad thing," she said reassuringly. "It shows you hold great respect for this friend of yours. There is nothing wrong with that." I smiled as she said this. She smiled back and continued talking in a sterner voice than before, "Regardless of why you did it, it isn't good to hold yourself back like that."

I dropped my antennae in apology. "Sorry, but why do you even care?" I guess I wasn't feeling nervous around her anymore because I asked that question without even thinking about how disrespectful it might be.

Tallest Miyuki chuckled. "Let's just say that you and your friend Red have caught my interest." She got up and floated to the door. The door slid open and she talked to the guard outside. "I'll take him back now."

"Yes Ma'am."

Almighty Miyuki waved me over and we headed back down the hall. The guard started to follow but she told him she'd be right back. I guess she just didn't want the extra audio-sensors. She didn't look down at me as we walked. Well… as I walked. She had her hover disk, which looked really neat by the way.

When we got back to the main room all my yearlings started whispering. Knowing them they probably started a ton of rumors about me. The jerks… I stayed by Tallest Miyuki because I hadn't exactly been dismissed, but seeing all their stares I sort of felt like running away.

Almighty Miyuki talked to the instructor for a bit then went to sit at one of the viewer couches.

"Alright you goo-sacks!" The instructor yelled. "We're starting a new simulation. I'll be altering the circumstances as per request of Her Almighty Tallest. Red!"

"Yes sir!" Red turned and saluted.

"You're in charge of group one. Your soldiers will include…" The instructor listed off more than half of our yearlings. Red's eyes bulged as the list went on and on. Normally we did smaller simulations groups of 5-10 but now Red had to command 25 young Irkens. I laughed as I watched the expression on his face, until I noticed my name was not called.

The instructor finished the list and scanned over the remaining smeets. "Zim!"

"Heh..? What?" Zim looked terrified as he stared over at Red's group.

"You will lead group two."

"What!?" Zim yelled. I didn't see Red's reaction but I was having the hardest time trying to not burst out laughing as Zim realized he only had a total of 5 smeets under his command. Unfortunately… I was part of that 5.

"Now for the technological allowances," the instructor completely ignored the grumblings of our tiny group. "Team one will receive level 3 usage limited to 1 pulse canon and 10 hand-held lasers at setting 1." Everyone on Team 1 stood in shock while Team 2 started shouting their objections. Again we were ignored. "Team two will receive level 1 usage. Limited to 5 force shields."

"Hang on." I objected, "Shouldn't that be 6?"

The instructor glared at me, "All of this is exactly by request of Her Almighty Tallest." I glanced up at Tallest Miyuki and she was smirking at me. I flattened my antennae to show my annoyance. She was doing this on purpose to make me fight my hardest. Against these odds I would have to just to avoid injury. I fell back into line while the instructor continued.

"Team captains will now accept these terms." Red grinned as he went forward to accept the terms. As he walked past me he gave me a look that I swear said '_Tough luck I'll try not to beat you too hard.'_ Just for that I decided I was going to actually try and help Zim.

"Psst, Zim." I ran over to him. I flicked him in the head to snap him out of that frightened look he had frozen on his face.

"Heh?"

"Are you scared?" My prodding worked like a charm. I needed Zim to be his normal annoying self for my plan to work.

"Fool! You think something as minor as this could scare ZIM!"

"No, of course not. Can I make a suggestion to our brave leader? I have an idea on how we could win." Oh Zim… he's so easy to manipulate. Just call him awesome and he'll listen to whatever you say.

"Very well Purple-stink, what is this suggestion?"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that… So anyway we have no lasers and only enough shields for five of us. I was thinking that instead of you having everyone run in like you normally do, you form a wall with four of the shields. Give me the fifth shield. You stand behind the others with the wall. You following me so far?" I could tell by his blank stare that he wasn't. I sighed and went over it again, slower.

"Hey are we going to start this or what?" Red yelled over at us. His troops were spread in staggered rows of 5 to 6, with the canon in the middle of the second row pointing through a gap in the first row. The first row had lasers as well as the third row. The second row had Kim and Larb to work the canon (they excel in our technology studies). It also had Krunk, Nen, and Gooch who were top in combat (top not counting me). The last two rows were just scattered abilities. Clearly Red didn't think that we would get that far.

"Keep your tunic on! We're planning!" I yelled at him.

I heard him and some of the other group snickering. "Planning what? How to lose with dignity?" someone snickered.

I ignored them and pulled Zim's attention back to me. I tried to get him to understand the plan. The other's on our team Flobee, Skoodge, Dooky and Alexovich were all listening. Dooky shook his head.

"Don't you think you're overestimating yourself?"

"Just trust me ok? Zim if we go with this plan it will make you look good whether I get beat up or not." Zim was the only one that needed to OK the plan.

"I do like to look good."

"Right! So that's the plan!" No one really argued cause if I got taken out the instructor would probably call the match. Everyone knew Red and I were the real leaders.

"Team 2 are you ready?" The instructor had waited patiently for us to finish, which was weird since he usually rushes us. I guess even he saw how unfair this was. I nudged Zim to get him to announce that we were prepared.

Everyone lined up. The four stood in the front with me and Zim in the back. As soon as the whistle was blow Red's team went laser crazy and Zim started yelling orders that no one listened to. I watched Red laugh for a little bit before I dashed out from behind our shield. I didn't tell Zim I was going to do this but at the same time I ran out I shoved Zim out the other side of the shield.

The goal is to take out the leader so as Zim was out in the open all the laser fire went at him. Why was this a good idea? Because Zim cheats. The instance he realized he was away from the shield he pulled out his PAK legs and began running around yelling like maniac. When Zim goes crazy it's really unlikely you will be able to stop him. Not a single shot hit him.

And while they were distracted I closed the distance to the first row. I had taken out the entire left half before Red even noticed I was there.

"What are you doing!? Forget about Zim! Get Purple!" Red was yelling like crazy. At this distance the canon was useless without blowing away his own team as well. I took out everyone that was holding a laser before the overly large team heard their new orders.

"No you don't!" Chin jumped at me but I easily side stepped him. I grabbed Larb away from the canon and threw him so he landed right on top of Chin. This went on for a few more minutes until I had taken out more than three quarters of Red's team. All he had left was the back row which was full of weak nobodies.

"You all get Zim! I'll take Purple." What was left of Red's team ran off as I threw a punch at Red. We attacked and dodged attacks for a few minutes. At one point we locked hands and it became a battle of strength.

"So what'd you do to make Almighty Miyuki mad?" Red asked.

"Huh?"

Red gestured with his head, "Making the odds like this? Plus she's been glaring at you for the past few minutes. What'd you do?"

I looked over at Tallest Miyuki as I pushed against Red. She was staring daggers at me. I swallowed hard. Red chuckled. Neither of us let up as we talked.

"So you Did do something?"

I looked back at him and nodded. "Yeah…" I let a smile cross my face thinking about what his reaction would be to my next statement. "I went too easy on you!" I dropped to the ground, pulled his arms over me and kicked with my feet. He flew over my head and landed flat on his back.

"Oww…" Red moaned as he righted himself and came back at me, but I wasn't being nice anymore. I dodged every attack he made. Three punches later, Red was down for the count. Those punches were right in his throat so he wouldn't have been able to breathe easily. He wasn't unconscious but he did raise the white flag after the third one.

"THAT WAS AMAZING!"

"DUDE PURPLE WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO FIGHT LIKE THAT!"

"CAN YOU HELP ME TRAIN LATER!?"

Everyone was gathering around me, even the ones from Red's team were crowding around. Looking around I saw Zim pouting in the corner. I looked to where Tallest Miyuki had been sitting but she wasn't there anymore. I hope she saw that last part and didn't just think I purposely lost again…

"Hey… That was pretty awesome…" I turned to see Red standing there.

"Thanks. Are you ok?"

Red nodded, "nothing broken other than my pride… How come you've never fought like that before?"

I just shrugged. I didn't want him to know I had always been going easy on him. Red shook his head.

"Well I hope you realize I'll be expecting that every time I spar with you now." I nodded nervously. I'm not sure I like the new attention but that match was pretty fun. I hope more days will be this exciting.


	4. Year 5 Day 506-Talk with Red

**Puprle's/Note: **Hey pitiful humans! Like I said last chapter I'm interested in seeing what your tiny minds think of the stuff I'm writing about. Leave Reviews! Ha! Bet you expected me to yell "obey the fist" or something but I'm not that weird. But yeah... If you could leave a comment that would make me probably as happy as destroying your weak planet... basically really happy.

Oh and also since Tenn said something earlier about time being different from planet to planet, a week is 23 Irk days (I don't know how long it is in your time), and there are 32 weeks in a year.

* * *

**Year 5 Day 506**

Every single part of my body aches… foot to antennae… It's going to take my PAK a week to heal all these bruises… Okay maybe a week is a bit of an over-exaggeration but still…

Why am I so sore you ask? Because today was non-stop combat practice… After that stunt from a few days ago my instructor has been pushing me really hard. I must have fought everyone in the class at least twice… Zim three times. I finally was so tired that Red managed to take me down. It was during those last five fights before I got up against Red that were the hardest… I didn't feel like losing to some weakling so I forced myself to hang on until Red but I was so tired that he beat me easily.

Tomorrow will be weapons maintenance so it shouldn't be too hard for my throbbing muscles. Until then I plan to lay on my bed and not move… oww…

Uh oh! I heard Red coming. I'll try and write more later.

-later-

Red came in the room with a giant smile on his face. "You'll never guess what just happened!"

"What?" I was tired, so I didn't give him one of my goofy answers, like usual. He didn't notice though. He was too busy laughing at the joke he had yet to tell.

"Oh man it was so funny. You know Zim's little sidekick? Well Zim was messing with the frequency of his PAK laser and he shot the poor sap's antenna clean off his head!" Red was holding his squeedlyspooch he was laughing so hard. I just gave him an appalled look.

"How is that funny!?" Losing an antenna is not only painful but it's serious. Normally antennae can be reattached pretty easily, but if something goes wrong you could get labeled defective from it. No way should someone get deactivated because Zim decided to be stupid.

"Chill, they got it reattached. The funniest part was watching shorty Skoodge attack Zim." Red smirked at me. That got my attention. Skoodge never fought back. I sat up a bit.

"Are they still goin' at it?"

Red shook his head. "Nah. Instructors got 'em separated pretty quickly. Zim did get a nice scrape across his face though." Red went down to sit on his bed. He picked up one of his weapons manuals. "When's that test on the pulse canon?"

"Next week day 17." I buried my face in my pillow. Irkens don't sleep often but I was such a mess that my PAK was recommending a short hibernation period.

"You tired?"

"What do you think?" I didn't have to look up to know he was smirking.

"Well you are the star fighter. You gotta expect more challenges."

"You jerk… You aimed for my ankle on purpose and you know it." I heard Red shift on his bed so I'm guessing he shrugged.

"Maybe I did. Rule 1 of Irken combat: Use your enemy's weaknesses."

"I thought Rule 1 was 'Don't Lose'…"

"Meh, I don't like that rule because then I break it nearly every time I fight you."

I sighed and buried myself further in the pillow. Even when we weren't doing combat training, Red would still drag me along to the combat room to spar with him, he just did it more often in the past few days. I'm getting tired of kicking his ass twice a day.

Red left the room for some snacks but he'll probably be back soon. Either way I think I'll take my PAK's recommendation and get some sleep now. Hopefully I'll be all healed by the time I wake up.


	5. Year 5 Day 517-Project Start

**Year 5 Day 517**

They've been keeping us so busy lately. All of our studies have been getting more and more advanced. Weapons Working we skipped right over pulse cannons onto implosion grenades. Chemistry we've moved up to handling radioactive devices (by the way Krunk nearly melted his eyes. It was hilarious!), and Galatic Politics has been so complicated I'm not even sure what we're learning anymore.

The weirdest one of all though is Irken Biological Studies. Everyone was assigned a project and a lab partner. You'll never guess who I got stuck with… Why do I have the worst luck in the world? 200 smeets in our class and I get stuck with the only idiot. Oh but the fun doesn't stop there… We were assigned the project of 'DNA Comparison'.

I'm supposed to collect DNA samples from everyone in the class and find differences in key traits. I say 'I'm supposed to' because there is no way Zim will ever understand what is going on. Red's so lucky… He got paired with Tenn and their project is Mutation studies. Basically that means he just has to make up crap that says how to build a defective, and since Tenn is such a bookworm chances are he'll just let her do all the work.

My luck is the worst…


	6. Year 5 Day 522-Collecting DNA

_**Purple's Note:**__ Hey Humans! I know it doesn't make sense for me to care what you think but I would love to hear back from you. Irken Nae said 'Hi' (not sure why she's listed as an Invader cause what is she invading? I'm just going to assume she's supposed to be a Diplomat or something) but I haven't heard from anyone else. _

_Red is fun to hang out with but.. I'M NOT LONELY! Irkens don't get lonely! I just... I guess I want to hear from someone else... Leave a Comment and say Hi! You can ask me questions about life in the Irken Underground also if you want. I don't mind answering some._

* * *

**Year 5 Day 522**

At lunch today, I went to talk to Zim to try and get some help from him on our IBS project.

"Zim does not help anyone, fool."

"Come on Zim… All you have to do is collect DNA data. It's easy, and you get to poke everyone with this needle." 200 smeets… I'll admit I was practically begging. I refuse to do this all myself. Besides Zim is sneaky so the smeets that are too prideful to let themselves get a scratch on their bodies wouldn't have the chance to avoid him.

"And why should I purple-stink?"

"Because if we don't pass all our classes we're labeled defective and decommissioned. That enough reason for ya?"

Zim stared at me for a while, and for 'a while' I mean twenty minutes. I wanted to see how long it would take for him to say something but… yeah it's Zim… he could probably sit there for three hours and I didn't want to waste the time.

"Forget it!" I yelled louder than necessary. I started to leave when Zim spoke out in that haughty tone of his.

"Very well Purple-thing, Zim shall assist you. What do you require of my amazingness?"

I rolled my eyes and forced a smile as I turned back to him. "All you have to do is poke everyone in the class with this needle. Once you're done bring it back to me." Zim took the needle staring at it with confusion. He looked from the needle to me then over to Skoodge who was sitting next to him.

It was some funny proof that Zim would do what I told him to. He turned and stabbed Skoodge in the head. It was harder than necessary but ehh… whatever works. The little idiot started smiling as Skoodge looked like he was about to cry. I started to smile to; watching Skoodge cry is funny.

With Zim looking eager enough I left and started working on the 20 samples I had already collected.

Open lab hours have been going for the past few days. I've been in there non-stop and have rarely seen anyone else. Today was less boring then every other day since Red had been dragged in with Tenn (apparently she wouldn't let him Not work).

"So how's the work with Zim going?" Red sat across the lab table trying not to laugh.

"He's helping by stabbing people. Oh by the way I need your sample or he'll be after you also."

"Yikes. I think I'll let you take it rather than letting that twerp brag about poking me." Red said. He rolled up his sleeve and came around the table. A quick poke and I sent the remote data to the Collector I gave Zim so it would tell him he didn't need Red anymore.

Red was working his black sleeves back down his arm when Tenn yelled for him to come over.

"Okay just a second." Turning to me he whispered, "She's so bossy… Not to mention she's actually taking this project seriously when it's such an easy topic."

"Just be glad you **have** an easy topic."

"Don't I know it." Red put his hand on my shoulder. "Hang in there. I'm sure the stuff we're learning will be useful someday." I just rolled my eyes at him as he walked away.

Someday was most likely a really long time off. Well anyway it's late and I have to get up early tttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ttttttttttttttt

Ugh! Dookie Zim! Fracken stabbed me with that stupid thing! I'M THE ONE THAT GAVE IT TO HIM! Did he really think I wouldn't take my own sample! GAWD! He's such a moron!

…. Forget it… I'm going to bed.


	7. Year 5 Day 574- Strange Mutation

**_A/N:_**_ Please keep in mind! I'm not using my own opinions in the **Purples/Notes**. All of it is what I think our friend Purple would say. (IE Don't sue me, don't get mad, and this is probably the last you'll hear from me since this is his story not mine. :P)_

* * *

**_P/N:_**_ Hey Humans! First off to Invader Sponge 1 (is there an Invader Sponge 2?) I want to say two things.  
1) My name is not Pupple. It's Purple.  
2) What kind of name is Sponge? Isn't that some lesser form of life on Earth? That name doesn't even sound dangerous... _

_As for your question ("What was it like being born?"):  
Ummm... I don't really remember much. First thing I was aware of was a tingling sensation over my entire body. When it stopped I got up to see what on irk was going on. It was kind of hard to stand up cause there was a big heavy chunk of metal stuck to my back (I didn't know how important my PAK was at the time). After I stood up I saw a huge robotic arm in front of me and the computer next to it said "Welcome to Life Irken Smeet. I wasn't really sure what an Irken was at the time; I figured it out after I was shot through a tube, dropped onto a really uncomfy chair, and plugged in to receive all the knowledge from past Irkens. _

_That part was really cool. It was kind of like watching a history show in fast forward but knowing and remembering everything that was said. It also gave me my first glimpse into using my PAK. PAKs are kind of weird. You probably wouldn't understand even if I explained it. But I digress. _

_The computer asked me for my name and I knew it right away. See my name isn't actually Purple. My name is the wavelength of light that your human eyes interpret as the color purple. There isn't a simple word for it in your language so I'll just stick with Purple. _

_So anyway I told it my name and then I got shot through another tube which led to the Irken Undergrounds... and yeah... been stuck here ever since. _

_Your second question ("What do you think Tallest Miyuki is up to?")  
You think she's up to something? I mean I guess that would make sense. After all no one's ever heard of her coming down to the Underground so often. I guess I just haven't thought much about it since it's Taller business. I'm still just a smeet. It's not my place to be questioning higher ranking irkens. _

_Does that answer your question? I hope so. Well either way, Here's my latest log entry._

* * *

**Year 5 Day 574**

Yeah sorry I haven't written the past few weeks (then again I'm sending these to you through a spatial transmitter so you might receive them all around the same time, not really sure how that works), things have been really hectic. I ache from combat practice and progress on the DNA comparison is really slow. First think I did though was check how Zim's DNA matched to the 20 irken most important bases (those are the ones most likely to spring out a defective). Unfortunately all his bases were normal. Maybe it's a problem with his PAK programing?

Good news though, Zim did finish the DNA collection. We also got a sample from one of the instructors because Alexovich tried to run from Zim and dodged behind the teacher. I had to persuade Instructor Spork to give me back the Collector Device but when I explained what it was for he just told me to keep it away from Zim.

I agreed. Zim argued saying he wanted to

-later-

Sorry about that.

Red came in. He was pretty excited about something with their project. I guess they located a mutant gene that didn't cause any sort of defect. It's not in the normal bases so that's why it wasn't noticed before. They found it in Instructor Spork's DNA (I let them use some of the data we had gathered (I think Red just wanted to mess with Instructor Spork since he's so tough on us).

Anyway he ran in really excited.

"Purple! You have got to see this!"

"You give Zim another black eye?" I looked up from my chemistry work to see him holding a long sheet of lab data, and by long I mean it trailed out the door behind him. "What on Irk? What is this?"

"DNA sequences. One's from a random selection, the other is from Instructor Spork. Check this out." He came over pointing at an area of the genetic coding. "Doesn't that look weird to you?"

"Yeah but wouldn't that be just a basic trait?"

"Well I thought so but.." Tenn came running into our room.

"What the vort Red?! Why'd you run off like that?" She was breathing heavy. Tenn never was the best at physical abilities.

"I found something that might relate to his project. Look I'll explain." And explain he did. The sequence he pointed to was an area that was a crucial point for existence as an Irken. It's one of the things that make us, Us. It had a broader use than those that change eye color and antennae shape. We went back to the lab to try and figure out what it did but we didn't have much luck.

The only thing we did find out was that it might possibly be loosely related to the sequence of genes that control height. We only noticed that because Spork is above average in height.

I'm going to try and look for that sequence in the samples I have; though with 201 samples, it might take some time. I have a feeling I'm going to be busy from now on.


	8. Year 6 Day 1-Miyuki's Back

_**P/N:**__ Hey got another question from ServanttotheTallest asking, "How does companionship work in the Irken underground?" _

_It's simple really. The smeet that comes immediately before or after you is the one you room with. I just got lucky with making a good friend in Red. One day off and I'd have been stuck with Zim. Poor Sklud.. _

_Anyway the reason Zim doesn't know what your earth word 'friend' is, has to do with the fact that he's failing our Alien Studies of Life course. He gets into shouting matches with the instructor saying we're better than those 'dirt-filth-pigs' so he shouldn't have to learn about them. They force the information into his meat-brain anyway. _

_In the end, 'Companionship' comes down to who is useful to you and who is not. I enjoy making fun of weak irkens and so does Red. Thus we do it at the same time. I find Tenn's imput into the project helpful thus I don't mind spending time with her to discuss it. See? Simple._

* * *

**Year 6 Day 1**

My 6th year of life has begun and I've been moved up to the next age group. Red joins me tomorrow. After that we don't have to see any of the idiots from our year for at least a month! Well… other than Zim that is. He's the day after Red… though I guess we have him to thank for the nice one month gap. After he was released he did something to block the tube. It took the technicians that whole month to get everyone else unstuck. I wonder if that's why so many of them are weak? Zim gave them brain damaged or something by shoving them into the tube? It's possible.

I was talking with some of the 6th yearlings when Instructor Varshlez came over.

"You're Purple right?" When I nodded he said, "Come with me."

He led me to the lab where Red, Tenn and I had been doing all our work on our projects. We're still not finished with that by the way. No matter what we try we can't seem to figure out what that weird gene sequence does.

So anyway, we got to the lab and guess who was there!? Almighty Miyuki! She was looking at one of the computers but as soon as I walked in she closed down whatever she had been reading.

"Hey there Purple. How've you been?"

"My Tallest!" I gave her a respectful salute. I was excited to see her albeit I wanted to give her a piece of my mind for that stunt she pulled last time I saw her. "I am well. What brings you back here?"

"Why I came to see you of course. I never got the chance to compliment you on your fighting from last time. Those three hits to the neck were well timed, and the pressure you applied was perfect; just enough to make your opponent surrender but not enough to cause damage. Well done."

I couldn't help smiling. The Almighty Tallest had complimented me! "Thank you very much!" I bowed respectfully.

Tallest Miyuki nodded. "So anyway how's your new class work going for you? Hope you aren't getting too run down."

I looked up surprised. "You didn't have something to do with that did you?" She let out a short laugh then avoided my question entirely.

"I heard you were doing a DNA sequencing project. Who's your lab partner for that?" She leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees; she looked like she was interested in my answer. I was a little annoyed she didn't answer my question but figured Tallest knows Best.

"It's Zim, Ma'am." I went over to a computer to pull up the data we had gathered. "Mostly I've been doing all the work though." Tallest Miyuki came and looked down over my shoulder. I glanced back to see her eyes scanning over the data. I thought I saw some recognition in her eyes at one point but it disappeared a moment later so I probably just imagined it.

"From the looks of it you've been working hard." She said, her eyes still on the data.

"Yes. I've been working with Red and Tenn on it also. The projects seem to overlap so we're both getting extra data off of the collaboration." I looked up at her but she was **Still** looking at the data. Why's she so interested in our project anyway? These are a normal thing from what I've heard from the older smeets. Everyone gets a partner close to their age then they gather data for the next 5 years and present their findings to a panel of Tallers who then decide what assignment to give the smeet.

After a few more minutes, Tallest Miyuki finally looked down at me. "This is some very advanced work, well organized and thought out. You said you were working with Red on this?" I nodded. She looked back at the data on the screen. I wish I could've known what she was thinking about. She had a really serious look on her face. She pointed at the screen, "Who's sequence is this?"

I looked to where she was pointing. "Oh… That would be the 5th year's head, Instrutor Spork. We got the sample on accident but Instructor Spork said he'd let us use the data."

There was another few minutes of silence, and then a knock at the door. A soldier stepped in and came over to whisper something to Tallest Miyuki.

"Alright," she sighed. "I'll be there in a moment." To me she turned and explained that something had come up with one of our ally planets (I forget whether she said it was Meekrob or the Screwheads), and she had to leave. "I look forward to seeing how your studies progress." And with that she left the room.

Honestly I'm still confused about the whole thing. I wanted to talk to Red about her surprise visit today but Instructor Varshlez told me I had to keep it to myself. Only reason I'm telling you humans is because you're too far away to tell Red or any of my other yearlings.


	9. Year 6 Day 18-Red vs Zim

_**P/N:**_ _Hey there! Today's question is from Invader Rose Tyler (sheesh whats with all these invaders?)and the question is… uhh… Love? Wait… isn't that… maybe I'm wrong. Sorry the Irken language doesn't really have a word to translate that. Vortian has a word kind of like it. Though I guess it would be closer to life-mate than love. Well I sort of think I know what you're talking about… and if I am right my response would be: What? Why would I? First off Irken's don't mate for life we don't even mate like that. _

_I mean older Irkens could go into a contract to make a specific smeet with a combination of their DNA but that's usually only right before they reach their life expectancy, and it's really rare. _

_Love is an emotion right? If so, I guess you didn't know that an irken's PAK blocks emotions. It's not that we can't feel stuff, but typically we choose not to. If an Irken wants to unblock an emotion they have a crap ton of paperwork to go through and they aren't allowed into combat anymore because they could put their fellow soldiers at risk. It's a real hassle so no one bothers with it (that's what Instructor Spork told me when I asked about it). _

_As for feeling that emotion for Tallest Miyuki: I respect her as the Irken Leader. That's all._

* * *

**Year 6 Day 18**

OH MAN YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN TODAY! That was the funniest frakking thing I have ever seen! The entire 6th year age group had to be split up between the 5th and 7th year rooms cause ours was completely destroyed! I guess I should explain huh?

Ok well, things started off pretty normal. We had our Weapons Technology Function's test on laser arrays this morning. A really simple test, lasers are one of the most basic weapons we've ever studied. The whole thing was basically a review 'cause we'll be studying Bio-radiation soon.

While it should have been simple with studying, of course our favorite idiot wouldn't do that. That's right! Zim decided to cheat!

Not only did he cheat off of Red but he got caught while doing it. What's the best part? Red needed extra credit for that class so he was building a larger more powerful laser than everyone else (hence why Zim got busted).

Red finished his laser and grabbed that sucker and whipped it around so it pointed right at Zim.

"You really think you can keep cheating off me!?" he yelled. Zim stared at the tip of that laser with pure panic in his pink eyes.

"I don't know what you're t-t-talking about," he tried to lie. He looked around at the rest of the class and THEN he FINALLY realized that his and Red's lasers were the only ones so big they required two hands to wield. Oh man the look on his face was priceless!

I was in the row in front of Red while he was pointing back at Zim. I know Red well enough to know how sick of Zim he was. I stifled my laughter and snuck out of the room. Just after I got out the door I heard Red's oversized laser go off. It blew the shat out of the shorty's cheating attempt and left a big gaping hole with a slightly crispy Zim staring at it in a panic.

Red then chased Zim around the whole frakking room with over 200 smeets laughing at him.

Just when Red had the chance to 'accidently' melt Zim's PAK, that stupid sidekick, Skoodge, jumped on Red's head and covered his eyes.

I was out in the hall on the floor laughing while everyone started running for their lives. With his eyes covered, and from trying to get Skoodge off his head, Red ended up firing off a dookie-ton of shots all in random directions. Walls started cracking and one of the stray shots hit a light, and it exploded. Instructors were running all over the place grabbing force shields trying to get close enough to stop the fight. Zim had to go get his arm reattached and Skoodge needed a dent on his PAK buffed out.

(I'm still laughing thinking back on all of this.)

Red should be back soon. He's been having his existence evaluated for the past 17 hours because of all the damage he caused. No one else got hurt other than Red, Zim and Skoodge so I'm not worried. It's not the first time he and Zim have gotten in a huge fight but this is the first time he's ever gotten in serious trouble for it. Still, they'll just give him a slap on the wrist.

Oh man the comments I get to make when he gets back! First thing I plan on saying is, "Welcome back Defective." I'll probably get punched for that but... eh… it will totally be worth it.


	10. Year 6 Day 23-Zim and Skoodge

_**P/N: **__Okay! Today's question is from LadiesWishMadness, aka Teef. She asks: "If Red read your diary what would you do?"; "How tall are you?"; and "If you could kill Zim in anyway how would I do it?"_

_**First question: **__First off IT'S NOT A DIARY! Also I would not cry. Irken's don't cry… except for Skoodge… he's just weird… _

_Second I don't expect he would be able to read it. I have a 27layer security encryption on the file saved to my writing pad. The only way he would get at it would be is if someone else told him and since you can't see me I'll let you know that I'm giving you a pretty serious glare right now. If hypothetically someone did tell him what I had written, yes Red would probably make fun of me for the existence of the file, he'd probably be in shock from hearing about the parts concerning Almighty Tallest Miyuki, but in the end he probably wouldn't tell any of our yearlings about it. _

_When it comes down to it, what I would do would probably be getting rid of the one that told him about the existence of my log journal. _

_**Second Question:**_ _I think I'm just under 3 of your earth feet. Red's the same height but most of our yearlings are closer to 2.5 earth feet. Chin is a little bit taller than Red and I.  
All of us are still growing and from what I've heard, your species is typically taller than Irkens, so saying you bet your taller… is probably a safe bet. Just watch though! I've still got some growing to do! I bet I'll reach an above-average height of 5 feet before I stop growing!_

_**Third Question: **__Hmmmm… tough question. I guess the answer depends on whether I would get in trouble or not for his death. If I could stage it like Red and make it an accident in a fight between smeets then I probably would. If I were Tallest and my words were final, I would probably send him to some far corner of space where no known planets exist, so that he'd be flying in space forever and just die out there. _

_Blowing him up has its appeal to. I wouldn't want to catch anyone in the crossfire though. Extra bodies mean I'm more likely to get in trouble for it._

* * *

**Year 6 Day 23**

I went into the lab today to work on the DNA project and I found Skoodge sleeping on the floor. He was in the way so I nudged him with my foot until he woke up.

"Huh… oh.. it's you…" He turned his head to look around the room. "Why am I in the lab...?"

"How should I know? I have work to do, and you're in the way."

Skoodge moaned as he stood up. He slumped off to one of the chairs in the back of the lab and sunk down resting his head on the table. I got annoyed 'cause that clearly meant he wasn't planning to leave. But instead of saying something I just turned my back to him and ignored him.

We'd been in there for around 2 hours when Zim came running in.

"There you are Skoodge! I came up with a plan to make the Red-stink less annoying and you will help me with it!" He said this completely oblivious that I was in the room. I stopped my work and listened to what they were saying. Skoodge was talking softly.

"Zim… my PAK is still repairing some of the smaller damages that the fight from before caused… I'm not sure if I want to help with this."

"Fool! You see how he looks down on you. Why would you Not assist me with this plan of brilliant amazingness?"

"He looks down on me because he is taller than me and no offence but your plans go astray a lot…" I stifled a laugh when he said this. Skoodge was known to always go along with Zim's plans. How stupid did it make him if he knew the plans were bad but went ahead with them anyway?

"My plans!? Lies! Clearly it is my plans that will bring this filthy universe to its knees!" I risked a glance back at them. Zim was standing in a prideful manner, his haughty attitude overlapping with Skoodge's reluctance to continue the argument.

For a moment, Skoodge's eyes looked over at me; he hadn't forgotten I was there. The shorty let out a sigh and looked back at Zim. "Fine. Tell me about this plan." He folded his arms on the table and laid his head down with a smirk that said he was just humoring his friend. He knew that I would tell Red about it as soon as I heard Zim's stupid plan.

Zim's plan was beyond stupid. The whole thing depended on Red showing up to our chemistry class late, which he never does. I don't even have to tell Red about it, for this plan to fail.

Zim and Skoodge left an hour later and I finally had the lab to myself. I hadn't exactly been able to work while Zim was in there since I was trying to avoid notice. I had the foolish thought for a moment that I'd be able to get some work done… until Red walked in.

"Have you seen the Defect anywhere?"

"Yeah. He was in here up until 20 minutes ago."

"Dookie…" Red swore. "He was supposed to help me with cleaning the main room for the 6th yearlings.

"The room is repairable?"

Red came over and slumped down into the chair next to me. "No… the instructors are just trying to figure out some way to punish us."

"Just you and Zim or Skoodge too?" I didn't feel overly interested in who else got in trouble for that fight. No one got decommissioned from it so it didn't really matter. I just kept on working while we talked.

"Nah… they decided that the Shorty was only in the fight to protect Zim. Plus his PAK had some damage that its nano-machines are still repairing."

"Yeah I heard him mention something about that."

Red sat up, "He was in here to?"

I nodded as I looked down at the table and made a few notes in my writing pad. "Zim seems to think you're annoying. He was trying to get Skoodge to help him with a plan to get back at you."

Red closed his eyes and slouched back into the chair again, rubbing his fingers around the base of his antennae. "Oh great… Just what I need…"

"Just don't be late to Chemistry for a while and you won't have to worry about it."

"He plans to blow up the chemistry lab?"

"Or plans to make you do it." I smirked as I looked over at Red. He looked completely exhausted. "How much longer we got until combat practice?"

Red let out an annoyed sigh, "Darnit I forgot we had that today…" He looked up at the clock. "Well we still have an hour until then. Want to get some food before we have to go?"

"Okay." I saved my work and copied the file to my PAK and writing tablet. I cleaned up the rest of my stuff and we headed out the door.

Combat practice was so long and tiring that I really don't remember much of it. The instructors have called in a trained soldier to come help me train since no one else can challenge me anymore. Since then I've been regularly getting my head smashed in.

Red's already passed out on his bed. I think I'll follow his example and get some sleep before we have more classes.


	11. Year 6 Day 49-Languages

**_P/N:_**_ Today's question is from Wolf. _

_Yes. Training on Irk is very hard… for you humans. For a true irken it is a simple matter. You'd probably die trying though. _

_Today's question is, "Since an irken smeet is created by other irkens DNA, personalities, ect, Wouldn't all of the irkens on Irk be realted or something like that?" I guess my question would be… are all earthlings on Earth not related? If you go far enough back on the genetic tree of any planet you will come to the same source. Unless you're like a certain fan fiction author that I know and believe in a creator. I mean yeah then you could have two genetically distinct sources but then you woul… unless this whole question was a sick human joke pointing out that I'm related to a certain someone… ugh… ok don't even want to think about that anymore… there's your answer… I'm done now._

* * *

**Year 6 Day 49**

We started working with our PAKs language receivers today. A Vortian named Lard Nar came in today. He gave a lecture on weapons engineering and we had to use our PAKs to know what he was saying. It's a lot harder than it sounds.

First we have to pay attention to the sounds we're hearing so we don't just space out. Red had to ask me for a memory disk of the lecture because he got distracted and didn't hear half of it.

After we hear the sounds it goes down to our PAK where we have to choose what language to translate it from. It was easy today since we knew we were hearing vortian. From there the PAK just spits the translation back at us so it's like hearing everything in irken.

I was curious what would happen if we heard a language that didn't have the translations available in the PAK so I asked Instructor Varshlez. He told me that our PAKs were designed to register and record languages automatically through received radio signals. Which is pretty cool but that leaves the question what if a race is too primitive to use basic radio transmissions? Answer: If they're that stupid they aren't worth the time it would take to talk to them.

You humans just hit that radio usage not long ago in your planet's life span, right? Hmm…

Well anyway, that Vortian will be back for the next few days. Vort is the most technologically advanced planet (Irk is still better though) so he will be teaching our technology related classes. It will take a lot of work before those translations happen automatically.

I managed to understand almost the entire lecture which apparently not many others in our class did. One of the Instructors took our PAK's memory recordings of the lecture to see who heard what.

Weird thing is: Top three for who translated the most were Tenn, Me, and Zim.

Still not sure how that happened… The idiot couldn't even answer any of the questions about the lecture afterwards but he somehow translated all of it? I think the universe is conspiring to give Zim whatever he wants. Thinking about how lucky he gets just drives me nuts!

Red is over at his desk grumbling. I've been pretending to catch up on Irken Anatomy and Physiology work, but even if I weren't, he's too busy listening to the vortian raw recordings to even notice me.

It's funny… He's normally the one who's better with using his PAK. I wonder if something's up? He hasn't been himself this whole week. After Zim's plan to humiliate him failed, he hasn't talked much…Which makes no sense considering he wasn't the one that lost. I've tried to cheer him up by making some jokes at another's expense but he doesn't seem to hear me.

Well whatever it is, if he needs help he'll ask. If not then I guess it doesn't really matter.


	12. Year 6 Day 63-Defects

**_P/N:_**_ Today's questions are from the representative of the human race Almight Tallest Mint! I must say it's an honor getting attention from the supreme ruler of the human race (not that the human race is much to brag about but still it's an honorable position). Tallest Mint's questions for me are:  
"How old are you?"; "Can I be your friend?" and "Do you have any questions for me or the human race?"_

**_To the first…_**_ that should be obvious since I've been dating my journal entries by my days of existence. In other words, I am 6 years and 63 days old in Irken years. Though I suppose you mean in earth years? From what I've heard, one year here equates just over 10.5 of your years so that would put me around 64 of your Earth years. Yeah… I know I'm really young…_

**_To the second: _**_I suppose you can if you want to. Don't ask me for any favors though. Like I said to ServantToTheTallest a few entries ago, I'll call you my friend if I find you useful. It's nothing personal just how it works. Though I suppose I do find the feedback on my entries to be useful… ok fine… We can be friends._

**_To the third:_**_ Do I have any questions? Hmm… never really thought about it before. Red questioned why aliens look so squishy, but that's him and he thinks everything looks squishy.  
Hmm… I guess I would have to ask what your home planet is like. I know you guys are a pretty primitive species, is your planet also primitive? _

* * *

**Year 6 Day 63**

So Red told me what was bothering him…

Remember that weird gene mutation we found in Instructor Spork's DNA? Well since we found it we've been scanning all other samples we had, checking for the same sequence. It's not as simple as it sounds. The computers can only search to see if the sequence in its exact form appears in the exact same spot in a DNA sample, but we need to know if it appears anywhere in the DNA in multiple forms. That's why it's been taking so long.

Red, Tenn and I have been taking shifts on who works during breaks. Today was one of the rare times that we were all three in there working.

"Aaargh! This is impossible! It's been months and we haven't found anything." Tenn slouched back in her chair, rubbing her eyes.

"It's a lot of samples; it can't be helped," I told her. I was getting tired of staring at the coding as well. We were in here every chance we got and yet we found nothing.

"Maybe we should take a break from it and skip a week?" Tenn suggested. "What do you think Red?... Red?" She hopped off her chair to look over Red's shoulder when he didn't respond. "Find something?"

"Huh?" Red sat up as if he just noticed Tenn was in the room.

"I asked if you had found something." She lowered one antennae to show she was starting to feel annoyed.

"Oh… no, nothing." Red turned back to his work looking totally out of it. Tenn and I exchanged a confused glance.

"You ok, Red?" I asked.

"Yeah, fine. Why?" He didn't even bother to look up at me.

"Because you've been really quiet lately."

"I'm just tired from combat practice today."

"We're not stupid." Tenn snapped, "It's not like we haven't noticed you've been like this for the past 2 weeks." Red stared at her. I think he was surprised that she sounded upset, or he could have wondered why her antenna was bent like I was, probably the former rather than latter reason.

Red dropped his antennae and looked away. "It's nothing. I'm just having problems with my other classes is all."

Tenn rolled her eyes. "The smartest smeet in the 6th year and you're telling us you're having trouble in other classes? If you're going to lie try and do a better job at it." She glared at him for a moment then sighed and grabbed her stuff. "I've got some other work to do so I'll be headed out now. Let me know if you find anything," she told us as she headed out the door.

"Sure thing," I yelled after her. Not that we were likely to find anything, or at least that's what I thought.

We worked in silence for an hour I felt like I wanted to poor acid on my eyes. Staring at that stupid computer screen was already making them burn, what would a little acid do?

"Hey, Purple…"

I looked up at Red. He had turned his seat so he was facing me. He had a pretty serious look on his face. I hadn't seen him that serious in a long time, but he also looked scared. Like he felt something bad was coming.

"What's up?" I asked. He didn't respond at first; just stared at me. It was a little weird.

"Don't tell Tenn about this… but I did find something."

My eyes must have opened as wide as they could and my antennae stood straight up in shock and excitement. "You did!? What?!" I got to my feet and hurried over to Red's computer. He looked at me like he was confused why I was excited, but it passed shortly and he turned to pull up three DNA sequences on the screen for me to see.

He pointed at the first one. "This is Instructor Spork's. Right there is the sequence we've been looking for. Now if you look at these other two. This one has one codon different while this one has two but they're definitely the same sequence of nucleic acids."

I looked at the lower two DNA samples. At first it was hard to see but looking at the right spot I could tell this was definitely what we were looking for.

"Alright Red! This is awesome! If we can collect some more samples from whoever these came from we might be able to figure out what that gene sequence does!" I was thrilled that our hard work was finally making some progress.

"Yeah… see that's why I didn't want Tenn to know about this."

"Huh..? Why?" I looked away from the computer to Red. His antennae were flush against his head. His eyes narrowed down to slivers. He took a deep breath before talking.

"Because these samples are from you and me…" He clicked the screen and I watched as our names were written out above the samples. There was no mistaking it. Whatever this weird mutation is… Red and I have it…

I stared at the screen in shock. "That's not possible. Mutations mean…"

"Mean we have a mistake… a defect…"

"But… no that…"

"We've kept this part of the project a secret to protect Instructor Spork… now we have to protect ourselves. We'll be labeled defective if anyone finds out."

I just stared at the computer as he said this. I couldn't believe it…. I still can't… I'm defective? That can't be right… Red and I are top in our classes… we're stronger, smarter, and taller than any of our classmates… how can WE be the defectives!?

I shook my head and began scanning the sequences. "We can't jump to conclusions. We haven't proven what this sequence does so it might not be bad. There could be others that have it; for all we know it is only rare among our yearlings; it could be common on the surface." There has to be another explanation...

"Even if it is we'll never be able to collect samples from the surface. Not before we have to present our findings for the Graduate Proficiency Assessment…and we can't tell any of the instructors."

"What about Instructor Spork?"

"What about him? If he finds out we can prove he's defective he might just try to get rid of us before he can be found out! Think Purple… we'll be in serious danger if anyone finds out."

I just sat there, thinking. Then it hit me.

"What if we tell Tallest Miyuki?"

Red looked at me as if I had gone completely insane. "Wha…? Purple… how would we tell her? I mean it's not as if the Almighty Tallest would care about our graduation project. And even if we did tell her… she would just have us decommissioned."

"No, don't you get it this is our chance. She does care about our project. She's been.." I cut myself off as I realized what I was saying.

"She's been what?"

Oh well, the slor's out of the bag now anyway. "She… may have come back a couple times since that time she set the combat simulation conditions."

"She came back? Why? And how do you know?"

"Because she came back to talk to me each time."

Red stared at me with one antenna raised; he didn't believe a word I was saying. "and here I thought you had a real solution. Honestly Purple… Why would she come to the Undergrounds just to talk to you?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "She said she was interested in you and me and our progress with our projects. Maybe she knows something about this."

Red shook his head trying to process this. "If she's paying attention to both of us why are you the only one she's talked to?" I just shrugged. I didn't know why I had been told to keep it a secret. Red shook his head again. "Okay fine… do you know when she's coming back again?"

It was my turn to shake my head.

Red sighed. "Well… until then we can't tell anyone about this. Okay?"

"Right…"

Red went to the computer. He and I copied the file onto our PAKs then set to work deleting our DNA samples from all copies of our project. For now he and I are the only ones that have the complete files. I'll show it to Tallest Miyuki if she comes again... at least I think I will... I am a bit worried about how she will react...

After that, the two of us went to our remaining classes then came back to our room. I know we have to try and act like nothing has changed… but that's not easy…


	13. Year 6 Day 223-Back to Normal

**_P/N:_**_ Today we have another question from Invader Rose Tyler, asking "What's your opinion on PAZR?"_

_What on irk is PAZR? Great… now I have to search your human's weird internet thing... one second…_

_-later-_

_… I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer. _

* * *

**Year 6 Day 223**

I haven't written in a while because I've been in a bit of a slump since that news of the mutation. Red has been the same. We're both better now. I'm not going to thank Zim for getting us out of it, but he was probably the only one who could give us that kick in the butt that we needed.

Don't get me wrong it was really really annoying but also really funny. During combat practice today, Red and I were basically just going through the motions. I'm not sure about him but I didn't really want to be there. I've been in the lab so much that I've started to dislike having to put the project on hold.

"The red and purple-stinks are acting differently than normal. Perhaps they have finally learned to fear the awesomeness that is ZIM!" I first heard Zim bragging to Skoodge. I was going to just ignore him but then he started getting louder. "Yes! The pathetic color-worms are nothing compared to me! I AM ZIM!" I glared at him but the idiot didn't notice. "You should all follow their example and bow before my Mighty Fists!"

"More like tiny fists," Red mumbled. I stifled a laugh and so did some of the smeets nearby. Zim glared at us.

"Fools! Laugh now with your laughing stink holes! But when I am Tallest I will bring Doom down on your snack shoving faces!"

Red laughed loudly, "HA! You? Tallest? You couldn't even be the Tallest's servant's assistant." The look on Zims face was hilarious. The idiot stammered as he tried to figure out what to say."

"Oh Yeah!? Well… You smell like dookie!" Zim yelled standing on his tip-toes to look as tall as Red. Their heads were practically touching as they stared each other down. The chant was slow and quiet at first, "fight… fight…" it quickly grew louder as we all watched Red and Zim, "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" I couldn't resist and I put my hands up.

"Taking Bets now!" I yelled to the crowd, "How long before Zim's head gets smashed in! Betting by the Minute!"

"HEY!" Zim yelled at me, "Bets are supposed to be on who wins!"

"pft… but then all bets would be on Red and I'd lose my snack credits." I purposely gave him a look like what I just said was the most obvious thing. It made him so mad his antennae went flat on his head and he grit his teeth.

"Three credits that he'll last 4 minutes!" Someone yelled out. Another smeet bet for 1 minute. More and more bets were called out and I watched as the color began to drain from Zim's face.

"NOOOOOOO! STOP BETTING AGAINST ME! I AM ZIM!" He looked terrified and furious.

In the end there was never a fight. The Vortian Temp-instructor came and broke it up. Even still, during the whole class time Zim kept twitching and looking all around like he expected someone to attack him. Red and I couldn't make eye contact for a while without laughing.

Red's mood has definitely improved and mine has to. I guess I didn't notice how much fun we were missing out on. I think that from now on, whatever happens, I'm going to have fun. I'll make the best of every situation.


	14. Year 6 Day 246-Evesdropping

**_P/N:_**_ Another question from Teef, aka LadiesWishMadness, today she asks, "If you were Tallest what would your first order be?"and "Will you marry me?"_

_If I became Almighty Tallest I would send someone to get me the universe's best tasting doughnut. No matter how long it took! No matter how many I had to send out in search of it! That would be my ultimate proof of my power! … Oh great... now I'm hungry thinking about it…_

_No. _

* * *

**Year 6 Day 246**

We finished cataloguing and organizing all of our samples today. Out of all 201 samples none besides Sporks's, Red's and mine had that weird mutation. Red and I lied to Tenn and told her ours were normal. Red is working on altering the data so our samples are in there with a normal segment in place of the mutation.

With no other existing samples Tenn suggested we just begin working on running simulations testing how altering each separate genome will affect the outcome of development; when she wasn't around Red mentioned that we should also nudge the data in a direction that incorporates our samples but doesn't leave a record of it.

…In all honesty… the equations we're going into… are confusing the goo out of me… I was ok when the project was just compare and organize the samples…. But now we're supposed to try and understand how they work…?

The only good thing about this project is that Tenn and Red, the smartest two smeets in our year, are helping me with it. Then again I wouldn't be stuck with all this complicated simulations if I hadn't loaned Red my collection of samples… Ahg.. ok whatever… I'll get through this somehow.

Other than the project not much else interesting has happened. Red and Zim got in another fight but this one didn't escalate like the last couple so it wasn't even worth watching.

Oh! One interesting thing did happen. It happened just under a week ago which is why I almost forgot about it.

Red and Tenn were headed to a foodening break so I was walking alone. I was headed to the lab when I heard that vortian Instructor talking. I decided to get a little extra practice in and see what I could overhear.

"It really is unfortunate, my fellow scientists are doing all they can but it is still progressing quickly. Much more quickly than any of her predecessors." Instructor Lard Nar spoke with caution. The next voice to speak was Irken.

"How far along is it?" The voice was unfamiliar but the tone was one of a high-ranking soldier.

"It has already taken the full use of the right leg and vastly impairs the left. We've made some receint progress and it is appearing to slow. How long that will last though … is anyone's guess."

A third voice spoke out in a language I didn't recognize, and there wasn't enough time for me to search my PAK to discover what it was. Instructor Lard Nar's next comment seemed to be in response to the unknown third voice.

"Yes I was wondering that as well. My brothers and I are all eager to hear if a new candidate has been found."

I heard the soldier sigh, "There is one. He is currently encoded as an Instructor. He's already 20 years of age but he continues to grow. You should know who he is."

I tried finding the language again for the third voice but again I failed.

Instructor Lard Nar sounded shocked, "You're kidding..?! That youngster Spork? I don't doubt his abilities at all but isn't he a bit young to be.."

"He has time," the Irken Soldier said. "You know as well as I that Almighty Tallest Miyuki won't give up without a fight. She'll hold on for as long as it takes for him to learn of his role. Then when he finally accepts it, she will make sure she's there to support him."

As soon as I heard them say the Almighty Tallest's name, I knew this was a conversation that was not meant to be overheard. I wanted to stay and listen but I was too afraid to be discovered, so I hurried away as fast as my PAK Legs would carry me.

They mentioned Spork and Tallest Miyuki… and Tallest Miyuki supporting Spork… and "new candidate"… I have no way of knowing if I'm right or not but it kind of sounded like they were saying Spork might be the next Tallest… But he's not nearly as tall as some of the leading Tallers… If only I had been able to figure out what that third voice was saying maybe it would have given some extra clues.

I won't tell anyone what I heard. I skimmed through the information my PAK had on the installation of a new Almighty Tallest and it said that candidates for Tallest are not announced until the candidate themselves has "Come forward" and been able to "Prove what they are."

I wonder what that means…? "Prove what they are" … Do they have their height measured or something? I know there are some Irkens that are the height of the Almighty Tallest but they never become Tallest themselves (my PAK had one known living example of this; some FryChef-in-training), but I haven't been able to find a reason for that.

There's only 3 hours until our next set of classes and my combat instructor was everything but nice to me this whole week. Time for some well-deserved rest.


	15. Year 6 Day 334-Questions&Lard Nar

**_P/N: _**_Tallest Mint asks, "What if Zim told Spork you're a defect? Oh and if he does can I come to your planet and destroy him?"_

_I think that if Zim ever even found out that I'm a defect, I would probably just shoot myself. _

_But hey sure if you want to come and destroy him that'd be awesome; just so long as you realize that you'd probably be killed for assaulting a smeet. I'm telling you this not to save Zim. I'm saying it because I don't think others should have to suffer because he's an idiot._

_Oh and I also have to ask… only 365 days a year? And you only live 65 years? Wow… how do you even get anything done with that short of a lifespan? _

* * *

**Year 6 Day 334**

I took a chance today and went to talk with Instructor Lard Nar.

I caught up with him after our weapons studies class. It's really surprising how fast Vortians can move with the weird way their legs and feet are; I had to run to catch up with him.

"Instructor! Sir? Do you have a moment?"

He turned around and looked at me with his tiny yellow eyes. He smiled at me and said, "Yes young smeet what can I do for you?" I decided to ask him about this because he seems like an easy to talk to sort of guy. Not like Instructor Spork who has to ridicule everything you say to him. It's also nice since he isn't all that much taller than me.

"I was just curious about something…" I hesitated a bit cause even if he is a nice guy, he's still an Instructor.

"And what would that be?" Instructor Lard Nar asked encouragingly.

"Well… As well as being a scientist, you're also an ambassador of Vort, right?"

He smiled and nodded, "That is correct."

I reached up to itch the base of my antenna while I tried to think of the best way to ask this, "So as an ambassador you must have met Almighty Tallest Miyuki right?" His reaction to that startled me a bit, his previously friendly expression became suddenly very serious. His eyes stared at me as if he were searching for something. Thinking back on it, maybe he was trying to figure out where this question was going...

"That's right. I met her when I was first appointed by my people and then again when I came here to Irk to teach. Now if that's all you wanted to know I have work that needs to be done." He started to turn off but I hurried to walk beside him.

"But those aren't the only times right? You're a respected scientist and she's rumored to make regular visits to Vort." I was practically running to keep up with his brisk walk. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up if he decided to really hurry so I tried to keep my questions as subtle as possible.

"Perhaps she does. I merely deal with the collaboration of education between our planets; nothing that she would worry herself over."

"That can't be all you do. You're one of the foremost experts on Weapons Technology in the whole Alliance, not to mention the work you do in the field of Bioengineering." I nearly tripped over myself when he stopped and turned to stare at me.

"Your name is Purple, correct?" he asked. I nodded. "Yes, I've seen your scores in my class. Not the best, but you're well above the average smeet. I've also heard of your combat prowess from the other Instructors. You have a bright future ahead of you." His face was calm as he spoke, but his voice revealed some worry he held. "You should do your best to not jeopardize that future by asking unnecessary questions."

I was so close! I wasn't ready to let it go just yet so I blurted out, "Is it unnecessary or one that is hard to answer?"

Instructor Lard Nar looked at me, silent for a few moments. He closed his eyes and sighed hard, "It is one that would be better if left unasked… and if you care for your species and this planet you will leave it at that." The look he gave me tied my squeedlyspooch in a knot; it was a look of pity. I felt my antennae fall and I looked away to stare at the floor. I'm not sure why it was but that look made me feel sick.

I was unable to say anything else so I just nodded. I gave Instructor Lard Nar a respectful goodbye and turned to head to foodening.

While we were eating Red kept bugging me to tell him what was wrong. I told him it was nothing but he wouldn't believe me. Eventually I just told him that I was worried about our Biochemsitry test in a few hours. Since BioChem isn't my best subject he believed me and then annoyingly tried to encourage me by making me answer the easiest possible questions on the subject to review.

In the end I really should have been worried about that test… I really don't think I did well. I just couldn't get that look out of my head. He knows something about Tallest Miyuki… and it's definitely NOT something good. I hope she comes around again soon. I really want to discuss that mutation with her… and maybe ask if something is going on with her also…

I know it's not my place to ask about Tallest business but I just can't stop thinking about it.


	16. Year 6 Day 335-Red Questioned

**Year 6 Day 335**

I know I don't normally write two days in a row but I didn't think I'd be worried about being decommissioned. I only have a few minutes so I'll try and write fast.

Red came into Combat Practice nearly an hour late looking really freaked out. I tried to ask him what was wrong but he just said he'd tell me later. What happened shook him up so badly that he lost to Zim! I wasn't on either team at the time it was a simple 5-smeet group fight but it was so horid that I nearly turned away and stopped watching.

Red won't be able to live that down for probably a year, maybe longer cause it's Zim.

I stopped him in the hall between classes and demanded he tell me what was wrong.

Red's antennae were flat on his head and his eyes were narrowed. He took a deep breath before asking, "You didn't let anyone find out about the mutation right?"

I gave him a look that should have told him how stupid of a question that was, "Why would I?" He just shrugged.

"The reason I was late was because a soldier pulled me aside and started asking me questions."

I raised an antennae, "Questions about what?"

"About you…" Red stared at the floor. His refusal to look at me was what got me worried.

"What did he ask? What did you tell him?" He still wouldn't look at me… I started to get angry. I grabbed his grey smeet-uniform and slammed him against the wall. "WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM!"

"WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO!? LIE!? He attached something to my PAK!" He stared me straight in the face as he yelled that. He looked as shaking up as I felt. I released my grip on his shirt. I wasn't sure I wanted to know but I asked again anyway.

"Red… What did you tell him?"

He looked back at the floor again. "He asked what I knew about Almighty Miyuki and why you were asking around about her. I told him you once told me that she came to talk to you, but that I didn't even know you had been asking questions about her."

"And…?"

"…" Red was silent for a moment. He gritted his teeth then continued, "the dookie didn't believe me… He threatened to copy all my PAK's memory data if I didn't tell him more about why you were interested in the business of the Tallest…"

I started to feel sick and my antennae were vibrating with how nervous I was. "So what did you say?"

"I told him it probably had to do with our project…. He asked what a smeet project would have to do with the Almighty Tallest…" Red hunched his shoulders looking guilty, "I kind of told him about the weird mutation we found…"

I was having trouble staying calm but I spoke slowly and asked, "You didn't tell him where we found it did you?"

Red glared at me, "What are you stupid? I'm not going to risk both our lives when we already altered the data." He looked back down at the floor. "I told him we found it in our Instructor's DNA, and that we couldn't figure out what it does. And I told him how you showed it to Almighty Miyuki and she seemed interested so you were hoping to ask her about it. I swear that's all I told him!"

His red eyes were shaking as he looked at me and I couldn't help but believe him. I sighed and ran my hands over my antenna. "Ok fine. Did he say anything else?" Red shook his head. "Well then I guess all we can do is wait, right?" I smiled at him. Getting grilled by a soldier is tough on the nerves. I imagine getting the same treatment from a friend doesn't help much.

I folded my hands behind my back and started walking to our next class. We were already late. It was forced on both our parts, but we managed to turn the conversation around to more enjoyable topics like how fat Skoodge is getting. It wasn't much but our moods were better by the time we reached our next class.


	17. Year 6 Day 391-What's Zim planning?

**_P/N:_**_ Sorry I didn't get to answer a question last time. I was in a bit of a hurry. But yeah so in case you guys were worried I'm not dead but I'll talk about that later. Today's question is from Wolf: I love outer space but humans can't just get off the planet whenever we want, when you go into space will you tell me about it?_

_Uhh… sure? Though from what I heard, space isn't that interesting. It's just how it sounds. It's empty space. I mean ok sure I guess when you're near a planet it's different but everything is so far apart. But yeah sure if you want to hear about it I can do that. I'll even send you a picture._

* * *

**Year 6 Day 391**

It has been well over 2 weeks and nothing has happened. Red hasn't been questioned again and neither has anyone one else that I talk to. Word has gotten around however and some smeets in our year have started avoiding me. Tenn, Larb, Red and the other's that are worth talking to aren't, which is good because I'd probably get bored.

Larb just started coming over to hang out with us recently. Honestly I just think he's trying to get on Tenn's good side so she'll let him cheat off her; he's smart enough to do it himself, he's just really lazy.

Well anyway a weird thing happened two days ago. We were all at foodening just talking about classes like usual, then the shorty Skoodge comes over.

"Have you guys seen Zim?" He asked.

Red looked over at him then back at the rest of us and smirked, "Nope haven't seen him all day, and what an amazing day it's been." We all started laughing. Skoodge looked like he didn't understand why we were laughing making it that much funnier.

"Didn't Zim have that Cruiser Construction test he had to retake?" Larb wasn't laughing he was just picking at his food. Skoodge shook his head.

"That's not till next week."

Tenn folded her arms on the table and rested her head on them looking at Larb, "and how come you know what the defect is doing? You two become friends lately?"

Larb glared at her, "Don't be stupid." He jerked his head towards Skoodge, "This guy is my project partner. Zim's always in the lab bugging us. It's hard as blorch to get any work done with his loud mouth in the room."

Skoodge looked away. "Sorry… I've told him to do something else while we're working on the project. He just doesn't listen."

"He's Zim," I pointed out. "Did you really expect him to?" I was trying my hardest not to laugh at him. Skoodge is short but he's not an idiot. He has to know that Zim is trouble, yet he still hangs around with him. It really is his own fault.

"Well at any rate," Red said staring at Skoodge, "he's not here. So you can go away now; unless your project partner has any objections to that." Larb said nothing. Red clapped his hands together, "That settles that." He waved his hand shooing the shorty away.

After that we had straight classes for the next 51 hours, a little longer than usual but it's like that every other month. The weirdest thing about it though was that Zim didn't show up until the last class, and when he did he was really quiet. He almost looked scared. Being just two rows in front of them I heard Skoodge ask him what was wrong but didn't hear a response. Normally the defective would've yelled out some ridiculous story about why he was late, purposely trying to get everyone's attention.

That class was the one we just got out of. Zim didn't say anything during the entire class, even when Red purposely tried to provoke him… it was during that time when Red was trying to pick a fight that I noticed a small grey device attached to the side of Zim's PAK. When I asked about it Zim started really freaking out and ran out of the room. Instructor Varshlez had to go chasing after him; they didn't get back until the time for class had ended and Zim was quiet again, though the device on his PAK was gone.

The weirdest thing of all (yeah I know I've said that several times already but this time it really is the weirdest) Zim came up and ASKED TO HELP ON THE PROJECT! I really had no good reason that would allow me to refuse so I let him tag along. I didn't let him go near any of the real data and just gave him a sample of DNA that had nothing to do with the mutation.

I was trying to keep a close eye on him but at one point I noticed one of my data discs went missing. He and I were the only ones in the lab so he had to have been the one that took it but he kept denying it. I saw him return it a minute later, but not until after I saw him take it out of his PAK.

I'm not sure why Zim is copying the data from this project but whatever it is, it can't be good. For now I'll just keep the real data disc locked away in my own PAK. I'll keep an eye on him and see if I can figure out what he's planning.


	18. Year 6 Day 457-Zim's Useful?

**_P/N:_**_ Today's questions are from RatcheT2497. Is that a robot code? Kind of sounds like it. Anyway the questions are 1) What do you think of RaPr (Red and Purple Relationship). And 2)What computer operating system do you use. _

_1) First off I'm a bit confused now. The first time I heard a similar terminology from Invader Rose Tyler, she told me that PaZr meant… by the way this is really wrong so please don't ever bring it up again after I say this… Purple and…ugh… Zim... romance. If the R means relationship and not romance then I have no issues with it. Red and I have a friendship that works well for the both of us. If you're talking romance then once again I must ask what weird fascination you humans have with that concept of 'love'. I really just don't understand it. _

_2) It depends on the Irken. Many build their own computers, as for the Undergrounds the whole thing is run on a closed-multi-user server, individual embedded operations are run off of a Minix 3 system. That's only in the smeets though. I really have no idea what the surface uses._

* * *

**Year 6 Day 457**

There is a lot of stuff that has happened so stick with me.

19 days ago I was working with Zim in the lab; Red and Tenn were in there with us. We've all kind of gotten used to Zim being around and being quiet and to be honest he isn't really all that bad when he's not yelling. He's actually pretty good with technology when he puts his mind to it which is kind of surprising.

Red and Tenn were running tests on the mutant strand of DNA. Red suggested using a program that would fast-forward the time scale so we can see what changes there are on the whole Irken (we can't just speed up the one section because we wouldn't know what to look for).

"Ah Blorch! Not again…" Tenn swore.

"What happened?" I asked. I looked back to see Red scratching his head. He sighed and started typing something.

"The program just crashed again…" he explained. "I don't get it…" he muttered to Tenn, "why does it keep crashing?"

"Maybe your sample isn't being recognized within your set parameters." Zim said from beside me.

We all turned to stare at him, shocked. I don't think any of us actually realized that he understood everything that was going on. Red narrowed his eyes a bit.

"Not recognized in what way?"

Zim looked up from the samples that I'd given him for the day, and glanced over at Red with a blank look on his face. "If the program is set for the growth parameters expected from the average irken, it would likely mean that the mutagen has an unexpected or adverse effect on the growth rates. If you have it set to grow with the expected parameters then the program wouldn't know how to handle the data."

None of us said a word for several minutes. I don't know what Red and Tenn were doing but I was so in shock that I just stared at Zim. The more I think about it the more I realize that I have never noticed any cheating or explosions from him during our computer classes.

Red was the first one to talk, "Zim… you're actually smart?"

Zim glared and lowered his antennae, "Fool. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Cause you're you…" Tenn responded. Zim huffed.

"I'll have you know I've been programing circles around all of you since the first day in this miserable dump. As for the other classes I simply choose to go easy on you," We can't exactly disprove him on that (not on the first part anyway). When we see the class rankings, everything is ordered by overall grades. We've never seen Zim's actual Computer Programing scores.

Red didn't look happy that Zim had gotten his attitude back so I decided to inturupt before a fight could be started. "Okay smart-guy, how do we fix the program so it won't crash?"

We all watched as Zim hopped down from his chair and went over to the computer where Red and Tenn were running the simulations. He started typing away while explaining what he was doing. It's pathetic of me to have to admit this… but I really didn't follow most of what he said. Computer Programing is one of my worst classes, right after Chemistry. Red and Tenn seemed to get it, though.

"Amazing…" Tenn sounded shocked. "I never thought of that."

"But wouldn't setting the potential growth here result in a larger variable scale?" Red asked pointing at some vague area. Zim looked back over the area then shrugged.

"It will increase the range of possible outcomes but it will also make it more likely that one of them will be correct. As for finding the correct one, this is your project not mine." And with that he got down from the stool and marched back over to his previous work.

Red and Tenn looked like they were getting annoyed with his haughty attitude and didn't ask any more questions. The program didn't crash anymore though so they were able to keep working. We were working for an hour when Skoodge came in looking freaked out.

"ZIM! What are you doing! You're supposed to be at that remake test."

Whatever small amount of respect he has won from us earlier was gone in an instant. His eyes bugged open and antennae dropped in fear. He ran out of the room yelling at the top of his lungs. He couldn't have run faster even if he were being chased by a giant snarling goo monster; fat little Skoodge waddling behind him.

When I finally stopped laughing I looked up to see Red smirking, "Who else want's to go watch and see if Zim crashes?" he asked.

"I do!" I yelled. Tenn just raised her hand because she was still laughing. We all packed up our stuff and headed to the flight room.

The Flight training room is the biggest in the entire underground. Its floor is 9 miles below the planet surface while the ceiling is only 1 mile below. The walls of the room stretch as far as you can see. It's supposedly underneath the outskirts of the planet's capital city, with the rest of the Undergrounds being directly underneath.

When we got there Zim was just starting to climb into the Irken Voot Cruiser that he was supposed to pilot. We joined Skoodge, Larb and Instructor Varshlez over at the viewer's box. Instructor Varshlez was talking with the soldier that acts as my combat trainer. The other's stayed behind to talk while I went to give a respectful greeting.

"Ah Purple," Instructor Varshlez smiled at me as I walked over. "Poor Zim has been so nervous about this test. It's good to see his friends come and support him."

"aha Friends.. Right… anyway I was hoping to ask Soldier Blert when next he would be here to train me."

My combat instructor laughed behind the high collar of his uniform, "Getting it a bit too easy when I'm not around are you? When's your next Combat day? Tomorrow?" Instructor Varshlez nodded. "Well then I think I can make that, unless I'm called away on some emergency. As for now I'll be around here for as long as her Almighty Tallest is."

"Almighty Miyuki is in the City!?" I asked louder than I probably should have and noticed Instructor Varshlez elbow Soldier Blert in the gut.

"Oww what?" Soldier Blert looked at him with an annoyed expression. Instructor Varshlez just sighed and turned to me.

"Yes Purple, she is, but that's not supposed to be common knowledge right now." He threw a glare over at Soldier Blert, "Things are complicated; so don't go spreading it around among the smeets. It could get you in even more trouble."

My antennae dropped at the word 'more'. I quickly swore I wouldn't tell anyone and hurried back over to Red and the others. I stopped next to Tenn, "What's up with him?" I asked nodding over to where Red was standing with a pissed off look on his face.

Tenn glanced nervously over at him, "We just heard from Larb that if Zim fails this test, he might get decommissioned." She looked up at the Voot Cruiser that was making its way through the obstacle course.

"No way!" I felt my antennae stand nervously on end. None of us would say it aloud but I'm sure Tenn and Red were thinking the same thing I was, '_We need Zim to finish that project'._ I turned to look up at Zim's progress.

He wasn't doing too bad. He nicked a couple of the markers but not by much. He was almost done with the course when the problem happened…

From where we were sitting all we could see was the Crusier's sudden change in flight, it was erratic and disoriented. It dropped several hundred feet in altitude. That's when we saw the smoke. Zim had opened up the main hatch and the black cloud was billowing out of the cockpit.

He crashed into the ground about half a mile away. The Technicians on Stand-by raced over to the ship. All of us would have gone over also but Instructor Varshlez stopped us while Soldier Blert leapt down from the viewer's platform and raced over. From so far away, all we could see was Zim getting pulled out of the flaming Cruiser, placed on an EMT hover-cart and rushed out of the room. They'd been gone for 5 minutes before Instructor Varshlez finally moved and let us run past.

We hurried to the medical ward and found out that Zim was in emergency surgery. Thanks to our PAK's we Irkens heal really fast. If it was serious enough that he had to go into surgery that means it's got to be life-threatening. We might have stayed there the whole time but a Medic came and shooed us off back to class.

Zim didn't come back to class for 3 days. Skoodge looked like he could have run up and hugged him if it weren't considered extreme weakness to show that much affection. I didn't let it show on my face but I was pretty relieved as well.

Going by my standard policy that if someone is useful, I don't mind having them around, Zim has now become useful. He's still annoying, so I don't want him around all the time; just when we're working on the projects.

I could tell Red was relieved as well based on how he immediately went over and made fun of Zim for being the only one capable of blowing up a Test Cruiser. It was then that I noticed that one smeet wasn't relieved. Larb turned and walked away with a scowl on his face. I was staring at him when Skoodge stepped in the way. He put his finger to his mouth and shook his head, a serious look on his face.

That's when it hit me. Zim didn't make a mistake. Larb sabotaged the ship! HE NEARLY SCREWED UP OUR WHOLE PROJECT!

I told Red what happened after class ended. He was just as angry as I was. Skoodge heard us talking and came over to beg us not to do anything. He gave an evil little smile that was really surprising considering who it was coming from and said he had a plan.

Turns out his plan was just humiliating Larb by setting his laser pointer to set the screen on fire while he gave some presentation. Red and I let him have his revenge before we took ours. Larb is currently back in his room waiting for his PAK to mend several broken bones. I don't think he'll mess with us or Zim again.

* * *

**_Please R&R this chapter! I'm curious if the techno talk sounded smart or not._**

**_A/N: _**_Several points of logic I just want to connect before people start thinking that I'm doing alternate universe. In the original series,__** Zim proves many times that he is good with technology.**__  
In 'Bestest Friend' he creates and programs eyeballs to plug into Keef's brain and hypnotize him into thinking a squirrel is Zim.  
In 'Future Dib' he builds a Dib robot and remotely controls it.  
In 'Door to Door' he programs virtual reality helmets to fool the humans into buying his candy.  
And of course in 'Backseat Driver from Beyond the Stars' Zim manages to build a remote control and hack into the personal battleship of the Almighty Tallests themselves. Even if he had the schematics he still needed to be able to understand them. _

_**Zim is smart with technology**__, it is his failure to plan and inability to make connections between cause and effect that he is often seen as an incompetent idiot. Oh and the fact that Gaz is just too awesome to be beat._


	19. Year 6 Day 472-Stolen Disc

**_A/N: _**_The following is Purple's opinion NOT MINE! Also please note that you Can leave reviews even if you don't have a question. I would really appreciate it._

**_P/N: _**_An _anonymous_ person asked what I would do if he/she told Zim I was a defect. Like I said when someone asked what would happen if he found out, I would probably shoot myself, but not before shooting Zim and the person that told him._

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**Year 6 Day 472**

Zim is back to his usual annoying self.

"When I am Tallest you will all fear my fist!" He was yelling earlier when Red beat him again in a combat simulation. The Defect was so mad after losing that he refused to come help with the project.

It was pretty funny when, 5 minutes after I'd gotten to the lab, he turned up with low antennae, asking to help. He didn't look happy about being there, and he kept mumbling to himself. After I was tired of his grumbling, I asked him what was wrong.

"Keep your engorged color-stink-face out of the stuff that is no concern of yours!" he snapped at me. I proved how little I cared by not even correcting him on his grammar. I basically just gave him stuff to do and he did it. I am still curious why he decided to come if he hated being there so much...

Kim and Gooch came in for a while working on their project. Zim didn't say a word the whole time; which was a real surprise since the only one he fights with, as much as Red, is Kim. Though most of their fights are during the computer class… Ohh…. Cause they're both on top….

How did I not notice this…?

Well anyway, Kim and Gooch were in there with us for a while when Zim said he was leaving. He didn't say a word as he packed up his stuff and left.

"What happened to Zim?" Kim asked. I just shook my head.

"No idea. I was kind of hoping you knew."

Kim shook her head. "It's been weird lately. He's been sloppy in Computer classes. I've seen him working on other stuff instead of the assignments. He gets mad if anyone even comes near him."

"You sound like you're friends with the Defect." Gooch commented as he looked into a vial of green liquid.

"You guys are too mean to him. Zim is actually really smart. He's just…"

"Annoying?" I suggested. Gooch and I high-fived; Kim glared at us. I laughed and shook my head, "Well at least he's been less of that lately. He's actually helping with the project. Speaking of which…" I leaned back in my chair and stretched my arms, "I've been in here for hours. You guys have fun."

"Yeah right… oww."

Kim elbowed Gooch. "See you later, Purple…. Something wrong?"

I was gathering up the data discs… one was missing. I checked the computers and searched around my work area, "You see a loose SD around?" Kim and Gooch helped me search but we couldn't find it.

"Think Zim accidently took it?"

"Maybe… I'll go find him and ask. Let me know if you find it." I grabbed everything and hurried out the door.

I looked all over the place, his room, the library, I even went to see if Skoodge had seen him; but wasn't able to find Zim anywhere… and I have a bad feeling that if he did take that disc… it wasn't on accident. He can't avoid me forever. I'll see him in class in a few hours. I don't know what he's up to by stealing our project data, but he's not going to get away with it.


	20. Year 6 Day 483-The Elite

**_P/N: _**_Wow no reviews or questions? That's a bit depressing. Does no one care what I'm writing anymore? I might just have to go grab a bag of doughnuts and sulk for a while….Then again… Red would wonder why I'm sulking and I'd have to come up with some excuse…_

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**Year 6 Day 483**

I got the disc back from Zim.

I also learned why he took it… and it's not good.

Remember that soldier that questioned Red about me? Well apparently he's still around. A while back he confronted Zim about his upcoming Cruiser Flight make-up test. He's the one that told Zim that if he failed the test he might be decommissioned. He also told Zim that if he didn't fail it too badly that he(the soldier) might be able to pull some strings for Zim, to keep him safe.

On one condition… Zim had to get him information about our smeet graduation project.

That's why Zim has been so willing to help lately. He's been copying whatever disc I gave him and bringing the information to that guy. Last week the soldier decided that just copies of the information wasn't enough. He wanted a hard disc incase Zim was altering the data to cover for me (not that Zim would ever do anything to help anyone). Zim brought him the disc in exchange for having some listening device removed from his PAK. The bug was the grey thing that I had seen on his PAK all those weeks ago. After he ran out of the room they took it off and replanted it inside his PAK

He freaked out when I asked about it that day because the soldier told him he would be decommissioned automatically if I ever found out.

So how did I find all of this out?

The guy took off the bug but told Zim he wasn't out of the woods yet. Without the threat of immediate decommissioning, Zim came straight to me in a really foul mood.

"PURPLE-GOO-MEAT-SACK! I demand to know why I am forced to steal from you!"

"I knew it! You took it on purpose! Okay Zim what'd you do with the disc?" He had been successfully avoiding me for days. During any class that he and I would normally have contact he would just not show up. I'll admit I was pissed.

"You do not ask the questions filth-sack! Why must the Amazing ZIM be forced to do something as pathetic as bargaining for his own life!?" Zim was staring daggers right back at me.

"What the heck are you talking about?"

Zim let out a few swears and extended his PAK legs trying to look menacing, "Fool! I'm talking about the Elite Soldier that requires me to obtain data from the project in order to prevent myself from being decommissioned!"

At this I just stared at him in confusion. "An Elite Soldier is threatening you?" Elites deal with serious criminals. Traitors to the alliance… murderers… snack thieves… Why would one be interested in our project? Unless… "Did he say anything about the Almighty Tallest?"

Zim was caught off guard, "my Tallest? Why would he ask about her?"

"Red was questioned by an Elite earlier this year, because I had asked a few questions about Almighty Miyuki."

"So it IS your fault!" he stepped towards me, still on his PAK legs. I got up on mine to match eye-level with him.

"Yeah it's my fault. Now what do you plan to do about it? Are you going to attack me? Because we both know you would lose. If not, then we should work out a plan on how to get rid of this guy." Zim stared at me for a moment as if considering his options, before lowering himself back to the ground.

"Alright Color-stink what is your plan?"

I lowered myself down as well. "What exactly did he tell you to get from me?"

"I was required to obtain data from the smeet project. The dookie never told me what he was looking for. That is why I copied many discs."

"That's right you only copied them. That last disc was the only one you stole. Why the change?"

"The fool suspected me of tampering with the data, as if I would ever care what happened to you."

I raised an antenna in annoyance, "Thanks Zim. Next time you need help don't come to me."

"FOOL! Zim needs no help." Zim struck his usual proud posture.

"Hey Defect in case you forgot; you kind of do need my help. Unless you have some other plan on how to get away from that Elite?"

Zim turned and looked at me as if the answer was obvious, "Of course, I will merely bring him all the data he wants until he is done with you." I put my hand to my head to stave off the headache he was giving me by his pure idiocy.

"First off: you do realize that the data you're bringing him has the specific genetic codes to everyone in our class INCLUDING You. Meaning he could make up any number of reasons to decommission you and alter the data to fit his needs.  
Second off: In order for you to steal from me, I would have to not know that you're doing it. Now that you've told me I won't just let you do what you want."

Zim's eyes bulged at that last part. He looked like he was about to have a meltdown.

"Zim! Calm down a second and listen. When's the next time you're supposed to meet the Elite?"

Zim shook his head, "The goo sack comes to find me. Why else would I have been forced to elude you for the past week." Zim's face and posture looked like his usual condescending self, but his antennae were low on his head and were vibrating slightly. His nerves were getting the better of him.

"Ok Okay… Calm down. It's going to be fine." I wasn't sure if it would be but we were both facing decommissioning. Things can fall apart quickly if you don't convince yourself. "You just keep bringing him the discs, but they're going to be fakes. I'll work with Red and make them. I'll try and figure out what he's after."

Zim's a pest. He's a pain to have around and never does anything right… but seeing him afraid for his own life? I feel like a… what did they call it in Alien Studies of Life class?... a big brother? I can't just let him get killed. It's my fault he's even in this situation.

It's been straight classes since my talk with Zim, and I haven't had a chance to get Red alone to tell him what's going on. I'm waiting in the room right now; hopefully he'll be back soon. I need a serious plan on what to do and since he's the strategy guy…

Let's hope I don't die.

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_**A/N:** Visit my Profile and vote for a story. The story with the most votes will get more chapters faster. The one with the least votes will be put on hold until I finish some others._


	21. Year 6 Day 521-Flobee

**_P/N:_**_ Whoa! Some good questions from Servant to the Tallest. Also I did say you could leave reviews without having a question.  
_"First, you mentioned PAK legs in this chapter, which made me wonder: it would be a lot easier to jut ride around with them all the time, wouldn't it? Is there a certain rule about using them, or do you just prefer exercise to walking with those?  
Secondly, I know our information says Irkens never sleep- Zim, anyway, since he's our only information source (talk about lack of significant data). Anyway, I'm wondering with your days of classes at a time, if you ever get any shut-eye, or if your PAKs charge your energy supply, or... I just wonder."

1) Actually our PAK legs take a lot of energy to use; much more than normal walking. Also, it drains energy straight from our ID PAKs whereas walking can take energy from our bodies. Not only that but it takes serious concentration to use our PAK legs properly. Each of the robotic arms ends in a sharp point in case we need to grip onto or slice through anything; using these on a flat metal surface?... well it's pretty easy to take a miss-step and have a leg slip right out from under you.  
-_-_-Besides all of that, it's considered really bad manners to raise yourself higher than your peers. With how important Height is in our society, if you pull yourself up to or above their eye-level that's the same as saying you have Zero Respect for them. If anyone were to do that to the Almighty Tallest that would be a challenge on her power; the Control Brains would decide the winner and the loser would be put to

death (if you have to pull yourself up to the Tallest's Level then you're clearly not tall enough and will lose).

2) That has to do with both our sugar in-take and our exertion. Our bodies process sugar and Saturated-fats really well; hence why we're typically eating what you humans call Junk Food. Our PAKs help with that process. If we're in a resting state or if we just aren't exerting much energy, whatever food our bodies process during that time, the excess energy is stored in a power cell in our PAKs.  
-_-_-Sleep/Hibernation mode is required when our PAK cells are running low on energy. The power cell can charge itself over time without taking energy from consumption meaning we can go for long periods without eating or drinking, but we would have to rest more often. In comparison, if we over exert ourselves (like I'm forced to do during every Close-Combat training day) we may use up more energy than we consumed previously, and it will draw from our PAK cells and use lots of energy in a short amount of time.  
-_-_-Hibernation may also be required if an Irken is seriously injured. Damage to the body takes energy to repair. If the damage is severe enough our PAKs may just shut us down until it has done the repairs, but this is rare. Normally it will give us an alert/strong recommendation that we take a rest.

_I hope that answered your questions. Those were some really good ones. I guess there is a reason Almighty Tallest Miyuki decided to have you as one of her servants._

**Year 6 Day 521**

It has been weeks and yet no sign of the guy. Zim has three discs that Red and I made. It took nearly as much work to fake the project as it has to actually do it. Tenn is getting mad at Red because he keeps disappearing, that actually is happening when he's taking his shift to follow Zim. We're taking turns. If we're not in class with Zim one of us will be nearby following him. Well one of us or Skoodge.

Shorty spotted me one time and I had to explain everything to him. Well not everything… I told him that an Elite was threatening Zim and we were trying to figure out why. He was more than eager to help; which is good for Zim, since he's still pretty jumpy. He's not taking the thought of deactivation very well. I'm not okay with it either, but I'm not going to give up without a fight.

We also told Tenn the same basics. She refused to help follow Zim but she said if she heard anything about the Elite she would let us know. She only agreed to that because she doesn't like the idea of someone stealing our project data.

The only news we had on the guy was three days ago, when the four of us were in the lab. Me, Red and Zim were working on our real project while Skoodge was just in there to hang out.

"Maybe he got what he wanted from the last disc?" Red suggested.

"I doubt it," I said shaking my head. "The last disc I gave Zim was one that just had a random group of smeets that we don't really even talk to. If he's using Zim to get to me he's going to want to get the data with my DNA on it. Or something that tells him why I was asking about Tallest Miyuki."

"And you don't think he might have gotten that information already?" Skoodge asked. I just shook my head.

"No chance. I didn't want Zim to screw up the project so I was giving him relatively unrelated data to sift through."

"You what! Stink-monster if it were not for me you…"

"Shut it Zim. I didn't know you were good with computers at the time." I raised my antennae, daring him to argue more. Instead Zim just turned in his chair grumbling quietly.

"You're sure he hasn't gotten any data that related to mine and Tenn's project?" Red asked.

"I'm sure." I said definitely. "I…" The door slid open and Tenn rushed in with Flobee following behind her.

"You guys will never guess what just happened!" She nudged Flobee forward. He stared from her to us like he didn't really know what was going on. We all stared back at him; something was different about him but I couldn't tell what.

"Okay I don't get what this has to do with all of you, but Tenn says it does." Flobee and Tenn walked over to where we were sitting. Flobee pointed up at his antennae, "Remember how this one was crooked? Well some Elite came to me after our last class and asked me to follow him. He took me to a medic, who gave me some sort of shot. He had me wait in the clinic for maybe 10 minutes and when he came back he handed me a mirror and my antenna was straightened. "

I glanced over at Red; the look on his face said we were thinking the same thing. That huge mutation wasn't the only thing we had found in the data. Other stuff had been minor defects, a strange multi-color hue in an eye, poor energy obsorption… simple stuff that would probably be over-looked and the smeet would still be allowed to exist.

Flobee was one of those. His antennae were messed up during his creation. There was a small break in the chromosome that affected his audio-receptors. We assumed that was why his antennae was bent.

"Was Flobee's data in that last disc?" Red asked looking at me.

"I think it might have been…" I absentmindedly scratched the base of my antenna. I turned back to Flobee, "Did anything else happen while you were in the clinic?"

Flobee shook his head. "I just sat and waited. Although I guess my antenna did itch a lot during that time… does that mean you guys know what that medic did to me? Not that I'm complaining since I can hear perfectly now."

Red and I nervously glanced at each other wondering what to say. We were trying to Not let everyone know what was going on. But even if we told him we didn't know… he probably wouldn't believe us.

"Uhm…" Red began.

"Your hearing's fixed!? Congratulations Flobee!" We all turned to watch as Skoodge smiled and walked over to Flobee, putting his arm around his shoulder. "That must be a lot of stress off your mind."

Flobee smiled at him, "You have no idea. I might actually have a chance at translating Instructor Lard Nar's lectures now."

"You had trouble with that before?" Skoodge turned the two of them around and started leading Gooch to the door. They were still talking as they headed out into the hall.

Red leaned his head on his hand, "Has he always been that good at leading a conversation?"

I shrugged, "I guess he gets a lot of practice from talking with Zim."

Skoodge came back half an hour later. Apparently he had successfully distracted Gooch into totally forgetting that he wanted to ask us why we cared about that Elite. Which is good for us; the fewer Irkens that know about our situation… the less we have to worry about one of them selling us out.


	22. Year 6 Day 553-Talked to Medic

**_A/N:_**_ I've been reading a ton of really morbid/depressing fics and I wrote something that almost made me cry for real and not just because of how easily I get into a story. Reviews help me feel better about what I'm writing so if you could leave one that would make me smile. I've hit writers block on this and many other stories as of yesterday because of that depressing Danny Phantom fic I wrote (Died as a Ghost). _

_I'll try to get back to this and all of them soon but with stress and finals I don't know how long it will take. Please don't give up on me (ps This chapter written before I got depressed that's why I'm even posting it)._

**_IMPORTANT! MAKE SURE YOU READ THIS NOTE!_**

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**Year 6 Day 533**

Yesterday I used my break to stop by the clinic that Flobee said he was taken to. My excuse was to 'Thank the medic for helping my friend', or at least that's what I told anyone that asked.

When I got to the clinic I did indeed talk to the medic. He was nice enough about it at first; then I asked another question that put him on edge.

"I'm curious though, did you repair just his antenna or did you fix the actual receptors that never formed properly?" Soon as I asked it, I realized it was another trouble question.

"That's very perceptive," The medic spoke kindly but his antennae were lowered slightly showing he was on his guard. "What did you say your name was?"

"I.. I'm Larb." I answered that because he's the only one I didn't care about getting in trouble.

The medic nodded, "Well Larb, continue your smeet studies and you might be a good medic someday." He turned back to some paperwork on his desk. "Until then it would be best if you concentrate on your own school work rather than asking questions." It was right along the lines of what Instructor Lard Nar had told me, but again I wasn't ready to give up.

"Actually I was hoping to be an Elite Soldier someday. The one that took Flobee to you, must know you pretty well. I mean it's a pretty serious procedure to mess with a smeet's genetics. If anything had gone wrong, someone would be in serious trouble."

The medic held his antennae dangerously low as he turned back to face me. "Was there a question in there or are you simply trying to waste my time?"

I nonchalantly folded my hands behind my head, "It's nothing. I'm just curious what would happen if my good friend Flobee suddenly started saying his antenna was hurting him, and a certain medic couldn't figure out why. I mean isn't bringing harm to a smeet the highest offense? My PAK tells me it's even worse than assassinating the Tallest. I wonder what the punishment for that would be?"

His eyes narrowed at me, "Is that a threat Young Smeet?" He stood from his chair proving he was double my height. I wasn't going to let his attempt to put me back in my place slow me down, but I did back up a step.

"Not a threat; an idea for an experiment." I saw a tiny flash of fear go through his eyes. I knew I had him. He took a seat again and sighed.

"What exactly are you after?"

"Information. Who is that Elite and what's he after?" I stood there trying to look serious but I was getting really excited being so close to an answer.

The medic stood up and walked to the doorway; he looked out in the hall to make sure there was no one nearby then turned back to me. "For your safety as well as mine and any of your friends, I suggest you stop asking questions about that one. You have no idea the kind of trouble you are getting yourself into."

I just shook my head and looked up at my worried taller "Let me worry about that. Now who is he?"

"After I tell you this," he said as he walked back over and put his hand on his desk, "you must swear to leave me out of this." I nodded. He glanced around nervously again, "Soldier Elite Mirab, he is one of the personal guards of Almighty Tallest Miyuki. He is the information getter and he does it by any means necessary."

I felt my antennae drop. I regained my composure and bowed to the taller and then hurried from the room. I found Red in the room and told him everything.

"Ha. Larb, that poor dookie."

"Were you even listening? He's one of Almighty Miyuki's guards! Now what the vort are we supposed to do!?"

Red leaned back on his bed and shrugged, "There's not really much we can do. Honestly it was pretty stupid of you to go to that medic in the first place."

"Well how else was I supposed to get information? Follow Zim and beat up the Elite whenever he decided to show himself? I'd get beaten to a goo."

"Now hold on that's not what I said."

"Then what huh!? Red what are we supposed to do now?! I thought we could trust Tallest Miyuki but we can't!" I'll admit I was in a panic. It's a good thing Red always manages to keep a cool head and think things through.

"Purple! Calm down a second!" Red hopped down from the bed and walked over to where I was standing. "Look, I'm going through the data my PAK has on the personal guard of the Tallest…"

"and?"

"And it says that they are the only Irkens permitted to work outside of the Tallests knowledge. They answer to the Control Brains not the Tallest His or Herself." Red connected a cord from his PAK to his writing tablet and pulled up the information he was seeing. "Right here," He said pointing at the screen, "it says, 'the duty of the personal guard of the Almighty Tallest is to do what is best for the safety of the Tallest, whether it is the Tallest's wish or not.' That means that she might not know what he's doing. You can't jump to conclusions." Red patted me on the shoulder and went back to his bed.

I nodded, trying to calm myself. "What do we do if he finds out I went to talk to the medic?"

He just stared forward as he answered, "We'll just have to wait until that happens. Who knows… Maybe Almighty Miyuki will stop by again before that happens."

It's what he says… I guess I'm still worried. I still want to know what that guy is up to… He steals our data and uses it to help a medic repair a smeet? I don't get it… is he good or bad…

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**_A/N:_**_Edited Chapter titles to include what happens in what chapter._


	23. Year 6 Day 601-To Boring Normal

**_P/N:_**_ Hello again! Sorry I haven't given an update in a while. It's been really busy around here. Today's question is from Skystep of StormClan. Skystep asks "Do you know a smeet named Tak?"_

_And though it really amazes me to say this Yeah! I have heard of her. That really surprises me that you would give some random name and I'd actually know it. It's really hard to learn the names of over 200 smeet just in my own year group, but knowing someone in a different group? Well it's pretty unheard of._

_So anyway the reason I know of her: There was a huge commotion once from one of the yearling groups… I forget if it was the group 2 or 3 years younger than us… something around there. Well anyway I'm not sure on all the details because I really don't even care but this Tak smeet did something to really try and hurt another smeet. The only reason so many smeets know of the story is because of why she did it. Revenge is something we're always told to avoid. _

_"Irkens start fights and end them." ~Instructor Spork_

* * *

**Year 6 Day 601**

Eight more days and it will have been a full year since the last time Tallest Miyuki came. From what I've been able to find out, she has been in the city for about half the year but she left for an allied planet a little over three weeks ago; not long after Flobee was taken to the medic by Elite Mirab. We haven't seen or heard from him since. Meaning that what the medic said about him being part of the Tallest's guard is probably true.

We gave up following Zim around some time last week. Skoodge overheard Instructor Lard Nar commenting that Almighty Miyuki was visiting his planet and a few others. That's the only reason we even know she's not here. We smeets don't hear much about the goings-on of the planet's surface.

Things have returned to a bit more normal routine. Classes are continuing as scheduled, as are the projects, and I'm still getting my butt kicked by Soldier Blert (though now I'm able to last a full minute against him). In fact it was just today that he gave me what I think was the first compliment from him Ever!

I guess that's all there is to write about. I know I probably shouldn't think this but I kind of miss the out of the ordinary events of the past few weeks. The normal schedule… I never realized how boring it was.


	24. Year 7 Day 15-To Be Tallest

**_Year 7 Day 15 _**

"Hey Purple. How have you been?"

When she said that I really didn't know how to respond. It's been a year. A YEAR! I'm not sure how long years seem to you humans, but here on Irk… they're really long! Part of me was excited to see Almighty Miyuki again. Part of me wanted to yell and tell her how horrible this past year has been. Yet another part wanted ask what took her so long to come back when she had been in the city for months. And still another part wanted to just shrug and say "Well enough" like the year had been no big deal. But looking at my almighty leader up close in that room, all I managed to say, before I even knew what I was saying was, "Are you okay?"

I put a hand up and covered my mouth as soon as I said it. Her antennae twitched slightly, not in an angry or defensive way, more like she wasn't sure what to make of what I said. She looked both surprised and saddened at the same time.

"That obvious huh?" She shrugged and sat back on the couch. Reaching down, she started messing with her hover disc. I just stood there and watched until she waved at one of the couches. "You can sit down, you know." Her tone had lost all the kindness it had once held and now spoke with an irritated contempt I had never heard in her before. I nodded and obeyed. I didn't know what else to do.

I just sat there waiting for her to finish whatever she was doing, and it was a few minutes before that happened. When she did finish, she leaned back on the couch and looked me over with her deep blue eyes. "I heard from Mirab about what happened. I hope he didn't cause you smeets too much worry." Even though he had, I shook my head. "Well good. I don't like how he went about it but the information was useful, and he helped to repair a smeet so I've forgiven him. I hope you can also."

"Sorry but… why does it matter if I do or not? It is not as if I could do anything against him or you." Almighty Miyuki laughed and I looked away, mortified at my own words. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…"

"Don't worry about it. You question things you don't understand. It's a valuable trait –when used at the correct times." Her antennae lowered slightly. "Though I suppose a few things _have_ been kept from you. We'll get to that in a moment, soon as your friend arrives."

"Friend?"

The door cracked open and a guard stuck his head inside. It was my combat trainer, Blert. He stepped in and bowed to Miyuki. "I've brought him." Miyuki nodded.

"Good. Now I only have to explain things once. Wait in the hallway while I talk with them." Blert bowed and stepped aside. I watched the door, higher up, expecting to see a taller or some officer come in; instead I saw Red walk nervously inside. I looked and him and he looked at me. A silent dialogue passed between us:  
"_What's going on?"  
"Not sure. Why are you here?"  
"How should I know?"  
"She never called you before?"  
"no…"_

I'm not sure if she sensed how nervous Red was –I was more or less used to being around her by now –she just smiled at him from the couch and asked him to take a seat. He came over and bowed respectfully, then sat down right next to me. He swallowed hard then put on his usual confident face. We glanced at each other while Tallest Miyuki looked us over.

She let out a low whistle. "Wow you to really do look similar. I wonder if something went wrong with the gene scrambler the day you two were made?" I wasn't looking at Red but I jumped when she said this. My only thought was that she meant we were defectives and she knew. I opened my mouth to defend us but Red beat me to it, though what he said made more sense than what I was thinking.

"What could have gone wrong?"

Almighty Miyuki looked down at him and smiled, "Oh. No I just meant maybe it failed to create a new sequence and only changed a few genes. It's not anything bad, just unlikely." I hid a small sigh of relief.

Out of the two of us, I think I was the more nervous. She had never called Red in before. I wasn't really afraid of talking to her but I was Very afraid of her calling me a defect. Even if he was more anxious, Red handles it better than I do. Although thinking back on it, with how low his antennae were, he might have felt worse than me.

"My Tallest… If you don't mind my asking… What is it you want from us?"

"Straight to the point –I like that. Well the whole thing comes down to the projects that I arranged for you two."

My antennae stood straight up. "You arranged?" Miyuki nodded. "Why would you get involved with a smeet's project? And why us?"

"Because of that mutation. Am I right?" I stared at Red mouth agape.

"Red!"

He ignored me. "That's why, isn't it? You knew about us all along, didn't you?" If I had to describe Miyuki's face in a way humans can understand, I would say she stared down at Red like an older sister who's been caught red(no pun intended) handed and practically dared him to do something about it. "I knew it."

"Oh yeah?" She asked, sounding not entirely surprised. "When'd you figure that out?"

"Right after Purple told me he had met with you more than the time during combat practice. He said you were interested in the project. It wouldn't have made sense for you to ask about it, unless you knew we were doing it to begin with." I stared at Red. His antennae were shaking, possibly from nerves, but with the look on his face it was more likely excitement. "I became certain of it, after we found out that the elite who was pressuring Zim was working for…"

Red's voice trailed off as Tallest Miyuki started laughing. "You're smarter than I gave you credit for. I didn't think you would've figured it out that early." Her eyes remained on Red but she nodded in my direction. "By the look on his face you didn't tell him your suspicions." Red just held her gaze. I couldn't believe he would be so arrogant as to stare the Almighty Tallest in the face like that. "Alright. Yeah, I knew about you two and your little mutation since they day you came out of your tubes. That little combat test?... I did the same thing to Spork when he was your age."

I turned back to my Tallest, shocked. At that moment I felt afraid of her. Her voice, her posture, her eyes… everything about her told me that she knew a lot more about us than that. I realized just how little I understood of this situation. I didn't have the faintest clue where this conversation was going. Red seemed to know, so I let him do all the talking.

"So you've known we're defective? Why didn't you deactivate us sooner?"

Tallest Miyuki laughed and shook her head, "And here I thought you had it figured out. Come on genius, why do you think?" Red didn't say anything. I'm not sure what possessed me but when the though hit me I just blurted it out.

"It's not a defect?"

She raised an antenna at me, "No it's a defect alright. Probably the worst one you could ever have."

"So why let us live?"

In answer to this she picked up a remote and turned on the TV screen on the wall nearby. On the screen were three genomes. I'd spent so much time staring at those exact ones trying to figure them out that I knew those were Red's and my own. I looked down at the third one. The amino acids were slightly different, and looked partially degraded, but I could tell it was the same mutation.

Red stood up on the seat to get a better look at it. "What is this?" he demanded looking from the screen to the Tallest. She pressed a button and the screen zoomed in on the lower sequence.

"This…" she said nodding to the screen, "is my sample." My jaw dropped. I think Red's did to. Neither of us spoke. "This is a point mutation. Very few know of it because very few have it; perhaps 1 irken every 50 years or so." She pressed another button and the screen changed. It showed the full DNA strand with several areas, including the mutation, highlighted. "These are all the areas that this mutation effects. The most apparent of which would be height. This is the gene that creates a Tallest."

"No way…" I exhaled. "We're going to be Tallests?" Tallest Miyuki nodded looking grim.

"Then Instructor Spork as well?"

"Ah. Yes he was informed of his potential status only a few weeks ago."

"Then why tell us so early?" Red asked. "If you only just told him. Why are you letting us know?"

"Simple." She said, slouching back on the couch and looking at us haughtily. "It's already started for him. Once it starts it doesn't stop and he is much younger than I was. We're hoping to find a way to delay it with you two."

Red looked at her dubiously, "And what exactly is 'It'?"

Her face grew grim. She leaned forward and clicked open a lock on her hover disc. The ring fell to the floor. She pulled the bottom of her robe up enough so we could clearly see her feet. I cringed and wanted to look away, but I found myself unable to stop staring.

Her legs were pitch-black, shriveled and sickly looking. They were thin as bone, as if there were no muscles on them at all. Thick ugly veins ran across their surface. The life-goo inside them seemed darker than the usual dull green. Like the decaying body of a 200 year old Irken.

Just as I felt myself about to be sick she covered them. She reached down and re-attached the disc to her robe. "and That," she said, "is the _second_ most apparent effect of the mutation." Her hover disc secured, she stood up and floated over to the mini-fridge in the room and grabbed out 3 sodas. She came back over and handed one to each of us. "Drink. You'll feel better."

Red forced down a few gulps but I couldn't even bring myself to open it. I felt sick. I tried desperately to keep myself from thinking about them and their connection to the mutation but the blackened skin just kept creeping into my mind. I set the drink down and shook my head. I heard Tallest Miyuki sigh.

"I'm sorry. I hate having to show you two this."

"What is it, exactly?" Red sounded about as good as I felt.

"It a deteriorative disorder," she said while running one of her two long fingers over the top of the can. "It accelerates growth in the body. However our Irken physiology, due to the necessity of our PAKs, cannot sustain such a growth rate. In the end our bodies can only tolerate the added stress for so long before our bodies begin to break down." She lifted her right hand and stared at it. "It starts on the fingers and the toes; more specifically… the thumb."

"That's why the thumbs are cut off when a new Tallest takes the throne?" Red asked. I just kept staring off at the wall.

"Yes. These arm guards are specially designed to maintain the stability of the rest of the hand. The chest plate contains an added life support system and the irken's Data is downloaded to a new larger PAK, in hopes of delaying the progression of the disease."

_No way,_ I thought. _This is not happening… The Tallest is the strongest of all Irkens. It's what all the computers say. How can becoming Tallest… mean you're dying…?_

"So the reason you gave us the project… was in hopes we could find a cure?" I looked back over at Red. His face was pale but his antennae were neutral. I couldn't figure out what he was thinking. I glanced over to Tallest Miyuki. She nodded.

"Somehow the disease is spreading faster with each generation of Tallest. At the rate it's going, the next smeet after you two may not even live to make it out of the creation tube."

XXX

**_P/N: _**_I'll be honest. It's been a long day. I'm tired and I've got a lot of thinking to do. I'll write the rest of what happened in the next entry… Sorry._

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_A/N: finally we have arrived at the main plot of the story. My writing may take a darker turn from here on. Sorry if that bothers anyone. This was the plan all along. Let me know what you think of it! _

_Comments for Purple are still allowed but depending on his mood he might or might not answer them. He is going to have a lot of struggles from now on. I hope you stick with him and keep reading. _

_Review!_


	25. Year 7 Day 18-Don't Want to Die

**_A/N: Hey guys! I decided to continue this as a journal. I've figured some things out thanks to a few reviews sparking new ideas. Big Thanks to Invader Rose Tyler and Cat Fishy!_**

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**_P/N: _**_Actually this is a message from Almighty Tallest Miyuki regarding the question of the Cat Fishy woman. The Fish woman asked if a smeet could be made with the same DNA as the previous Tallest then have the PAK of the previous Tallest installed to buy said Tallest more time to find a cure. _

_There are in fact two issues with this idea; the first being purely political, the second being genetic. As to the political one that simply means that if other Irkens found out that the Tallest was being recreated to live longer then they would begin to question our authority, and through us, the Control Brains. Many would question what right the Tallest has to keep living when other Irkens die and are simply put into the Control Brain's database._

_The second problem is a bit more complex. You see, the computer that creates the DNA sequence for each smeet is strictly a scrambler. It mixes the genetic codons then it places a newly made cell with that DNA strand into the smeet pod. Mixing DNA, and doing it correctly, is very complex and difficult. Attempting to record all the original data, of every smeet it created, would be impossible without causing some sort of malfunction. _

_The reason we cannot take our current DNA and clone it has to do with the fact that as DNA ages in the body it degrades slightly. This is, of course, all the more true when it involves a Tallest. If a smeet were created with the degraded DNA it would emerge from its tube with the same physical ailments as the previous Irken had died with. _

_That, unfortunately, is as simple an explanation as is possible to give. Now I have much Tallest business to attend to. Where are the doughnuts?_

_Purple: So there you go Cat Fishy. It took me forever to get her to write it down for me. I added that last comment because that's what she said when she left the room. Funny right?_

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**Year 7 Day 18 **

(Continued about what happened on the 16th)  
"So what can we do?" Red's antennae were low and his hands balled into fists. Tallest Miyuki got up and floated to the door. Speaking to someone outside she waved them into the room. Instructor … err maybe I should call him Scientist Lard Nar stepped inside. I switched my PAK to translate –by now I had gotten good at it. He looked at us surprised.

"You're kidding..? Those two?" His horns twitched as he looked between us. I always wondered how those really solid horns could move in a way similar to our antennae. When I asked Red about it after we had left he said he was 'glad to hear that I hadn't lost my ability to notice random things.'

Tallest Miyuki nodded. To us she said, "As of now your biological studies classes are canceled. You will instead report to a lab we have set up devoted to the study of this mutation."

"What about combat and weapons classes?" I asked.

"You don't get out of it that easily." Soldier Blert entered the room and stood beside Scientist Lard Nar. His face was smiling but his antennae were low with worry. I wonder when he learned of all this? Tallest Miyuki nodded again.

"We can't excuse you from all your classes. Anything you would miss in your biological studies, you will most likely learn during your time with my team of scientists."

"Do we get any choice in this?" My antennae stood straight up as I heard Red ask this and Tallest Miyuki lowered hers. She folded her hands behind her back and stood straight; her eyes narrowing on Red.

"What other choice would you need?"

Red returned her look. "Will Instructor Spork be there to help as well?"

"Unfortunately," Tallest Miyuki said not losing her commanding presence, "_Taller _Spork will be busy with other duties."

"What other duties?"

"You answer to me, Little Smeet. Not the other way around." She was forceful in her words, causing Red to close his mouth and look away. Tallest Miyuki sighed and floated over to us. She put her hands on our shoulders. "Please understand… this is not just about you two. Our way of life is structured from the belief that being tall makes you strong. If the general population were to find out that the Tallest is actually the weakest… Our planet would fall into chaos." I looked up into her blue eyes and saw how sad and scared she looked. But she wasn't afraid for herself. She was afraid for our planet. Our species.

"We'll help!" I had agreed before I even knew what I was saying.

XXX -Today/Yesterday- XXX

We've been moved to a larger lab. Last night we slept in a special room prepared for us. They gave us some of the studies they'd already done on failed cures. We tried to sleep but instead we sat up for a long time just talking about that.

"This is too hard…" I complained. "I don't understand half of this junk."

"Well maybe you shouldn't have agreed to help if you can't understand it." Red didn't even look at me. He just kept skimming over study after study.

"Well what other choice did we have?" I tried to keep my voice calm but just thinking about it scared me. "Red, I don't want to die."

Red sighed and set down his papers. He didn't say anything. I sat on my new bed with my legs pulled up to my chest and my head resting in my folded arms. I had wished I could just hibernate and forget everything I'd just learned. Maybe if I didn't know then I would be able to accept it when it comes… but now… it just seems so unfair.

I could feel my eyes growing hot. I didn't know it then but now I know that it meant I was about to start crying. I'd never cried before today. Hopefully I never will again.

I couldn't stifle my light sobs. Red hopped off his chair and came over to sit by me. He didn't say anything. I didn't mind though. It wasn't a bad silence. Comforting sadness/fear just isn't in our natures. Just the fact that he came to sit by me to prove I wasn't alone was far more than any other Irken would do, and I was really grateful.

My PAK must have activated hibernation in order to calm my nerves, because when I woke up it was dark and Red was asleep. It was weird for my PAK to reactivate me at such an early time. It's internal clock told me I still had several hours before daylight so I sat down to write this entry.

I never really thought about how important this journal might be. But now with everything that's going on… I need to make sure I keep writing as much as I can. Maybe someone will read this later and figure out something we didn't. That's not to say that I'm not really hoping that we figure it out first.


	26. Year 7 Day 253-Talking it out with Fists

_**P/N:**__ Question for today from RatcheT2497 have I ever heard of the Lombax race?_

_The answer is no. I've never heard of that species. Is that something on earth?_

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**Year 7 Day 253**

I had just finished my combat practice with Soldier Blert. Overall I'm doing better; not getting knocked down as many times. Even so, I was still sore by the end of that practice. I wasn't in the greatest mood either. I'd even punched a female smeet when she walked by and said we looked alike. Her eyes were purple, I got mad 'cause her antennae were curly and she was clearly a girl, which I am not!

Well anyway punching her made me feel better so when I got to the lab, I was ready to deal with Red's yelling.

"UGH! THIS IS REDICULUS!"

The wadded up test results that Red had thrown, hit the wall next to the door when I walked in. Red held his head in his hands leaning down over the lab table. I can't imagine that was a very comfortable position.

Oh did I mention that he and I hit our first growth spurt? Apparently there's 5 growth spurts for Tallests (3 for tallers).We're now taller than all of our classmates. In fact we're so tall that when Zim stood on Skoodge's head, he was just on eye level with us. Then again that's not saying much since both of them are _really short._

I lowered myself onto the stool next to where Red was standing. "Nothing?" I asked.

Red let out a sigh of annoyance. "I just don't get it. If the defect has to do with our PAKs being unable to supply energy properly over the extended dimension of our bodies… then boosting the PAKs energy transfer should work. But everything I and the scientists try ends in disaster!"

"Buck up Red." Scientist Lard Nar said in a friendly gesture. "The break-trough's you've made in the past few months have helped out in several fields of science."

Red scoffed, "Several _Others _maybe, but not the one I need it for."

"Come on Red. Give yourself a break. If a team of scientists couldn't figure it out in 20 years, you're probably not going to get it in only 1 year." Red glanced at me looking slightly annoyed. I just smiled back at him.

Over the past few months Red has been doing all the sciency stuff while I've been the one taking whatever tests they needed (Mostly that's just running on a treadmill and a few other physical activities, though one time they needed a tissue sample from the inside of my antenna… I had a headache for a week!) since I'm not smart enough to understand all the genetics junk that the scientists keep rambling on about with Red.

Red was about to go back to his papers when I elbowed him. "Let's go have a quick match." I said. He cocked an antenna at me.

"Didn't you just have practice with Soldier Blert?"

"Yeah but I'm okay." I hopped off the stool. "Come on. You need a break."

Red laughed "Yeah, because getting beaten to a pulp by you is a great way to relax." Even though he said that, he still stood and left the room with me.

"So talk me through this latest one," I said after we reached the battle room. I turned to Red with a fighting stance; he faced me and took a stance also.

"Why bother? You won't understand it."

I shrugged, knowing he was right. "Maybe talking through it will help you see something you missed."

He gave in. "Okay." When he started to explain, he also threw the first punch. We exchanged blows for a while; neither of us were really trying to hit. "So it's like this. The mutation causes an increase in ATP required for cellular respiration."

"And ATP is energy, right?"

"Right. Normally it takes 2ATP to make 4 ATP but the mutation uses 1 extra ATP. Now the problem is that I can't figure out where that extra bit of energy goes. It's not actually being used in glycolysis and it's not being stored in our PAK's batteries. It just disappears."

"But wait… I thought you couldn't destroy energy."

"Well that's just it… you can't." Red threw a punch at my left shoulder and out of pure habit I grabbed his wrist and threw him over my shoulder. I heard his PAK hit the floor. "Oww…"

"Woops… Sorry." I offered a hand to help him up, but he just stared off at the ceiling. I could tell he was busy thinking so I dropped my hand and sat down on the floor next to him. Eventually I got bored so I broke the silence. "Could the extra energy be used by the mutation itself?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well… Like could it need the energy to keep from falling apart?"

Red shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense… DNA doesn't just fall apart. The phosphodiester bond doesn't break unless applied with only a few specific enzymes."

"The phospho what?"

"The covalent bonds of the phosphate groups," he said, heaving a sigh as he remembered I was doing poorly in genetics. "either way only a few enzymes can unzip the bonds, and that's only done during cell replication." Red jumped up suddenly and threw a kick at my head which I barely dodged, though I was now laying down so at a serious disadvantage.

He wasn't going easy anymore. Red won't ever admit it because fighting is my thing, but he really enjoys it and it helps him clear his head (of course he's not nearly as skilled as I am so he loses every time, which inadvertently ends up making him upset again). We fought in silence for over an hour, until I had thrown, or pinned, him enough times for his PAK to suggest hibernation for healing purposes.

I was going easy on him so he didn't end up getting mad. It was actually pretty fun. We haven't really sparred like that since this whole thing with Tallest Miyuki began.

He didn't figure anything out, but he was in a much better mood when we went back to our room. He's asleep right now; I can hear his PAK buzzing while it works on repairs. Mine is giving me an alert as well. Guess it's time to sleep now.

* * *

_**A/N: **Hey guys just curious if anyone even understood that stuff. I've taken cell bio before so I know most of this stuff (though I am doing a lot of research still) but I'm still not sure how this story is going to end. If anyone thinks I'm getting more complicated than necessary, let me know. **Leave a Review if you think this story would work fine without going into details **(not that I would really call this chapter detailed)._


	27. Year 7 Day 555 -Standard Update

**Year 7 Day 555**

Been insanely busy again. I also misplaced my writing pad that this journal is saved to so I couldn't actually write anything anyway. I'll try not to do that again, but with all these advanced classes (stuff that I still can't understand, though Red follows them so I don't get why it's not just him taking the classes) my brain is totally fried.

But on a less complicated note, Zim is officially the MOST ANNOYING SMEET IN THE HISTORY OF ANNOYING! I learned this as of last week (though I only found my writing pad today so… yeah.)

It was the first time I had been back in normal classes for a couple months (Red is being privately tutored in all his classes now) and all I wanted to do was hang out and talk with Tenn and the others. Was that really so much to ask?

Well anyway, Zim started asking "What (us) color-stinks do when we're excused from classes."

"First off," I said, "we are not being Excused from classes. We're being tutored by Instructors from higher years." The rest of the class knows we're being taught by scientists who deal directly with Tallest Miyuki but they don't know why. I've heard all sorts of rumors about it, some of which are really funny. The closest to being correct is the one that says Miyuki is one of our DNA surrogates and she's training us to continue her work on universal diplomacy. The farthest is one I heard Zim say; he thought that she wanted to use us as test subjects some jelly experiment. There's no way for them to know that Tallest means more about DNA and less about height so they have no reason to suspect that Red and I will be Tallest some day.

Zim huffed and folded his arms. "Clearly they do not know who the more superior mind is or they would teach the Amazing Zim instead of wasting their time with defectives such as yourselfs."

"What!? Who are you calling Defective!? You stupid little Defect!"

I guess I did get a bit defensive but that still didn't give him the right to laugh like he did. "Zim is not defective, stupid Purple-worm. Were it not for my Amazing computer skills, you and the Red-goo never would have gotten through the smeet project."

My eyes bulged a bit, remembering it. "THAT'S IT!" and then before I was able to realize, or stop myself, I asked, "Zim, can you come take a look at the computer programs that Red is working with?" Every other smeet within hearing was as shocked as I was that the question had come from my mouth.

Zim was also shocked at first, but then he started laughing. And laughing… and laughing….. He kept laughing until he was rolling on the floor with his Squeedlyspooch in knots. I kicked him in the face and walked away. I wouldn't be surprised if the goo had rushed to my face from embarrassment of being caught asking Zim for help. I hope I never do something that stupid again!

Other than that horrible moment, things have been pretty quiet. Almighty Miyuki has come and visited Red and I three times over the past half a year; each time she seems to be more and more tired. She shares stories of stuff she saw on the other planets she visits. I think it would be so cool to see an alien species that just looks like an upside down cone. Weird… but cool.

Red's getting increasingly frustrated. I guess that's to be expected though since we haven't made any more progress than the scientists have. Even if we haven't though, that's no excuse for him to starve himself. I keep having to drag him out of the lab to get food, and even when I do, he barely eats more than half a jelly doughnut. If I understood more about your human concept of 'Parents' I might feel like Red's mother.


	28. Year 8 Day 1 - Birthday

_**A/N:**__ Hey guys! I felt bad about having to make you wait so long for the last chapter, so I got this next one done as quick as I could. I'll be starting a new school semester in 2 weeks, and with the new popularity of my story Until the Rain, I'll probably not get back to this story for a while. _

_Plus with so zero reviews I feel like no one is reading this anymore, anyway. You're allowed to have a review without having a question you know... _Anyway here's an adorable chapter that I hope you'll love.

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**Year 8 Day 1**

Quick note before I write about the day, I forgot to mention this the last time I wrote, Red and I have gone through a growth spurt. We're now the same height as, if not slightly taller than, Scientist Lard Nar. We're just about average height for an Irken, though only half as tall as the Tallest. Our classmates are growing as well (except for Skoodge, he's still short, though I guess he is growing but more width than height. Haha fatty!) and it's starting to go to some of their heads. I saw Flobee pushing around some younger smeets a few days ago, I didn't bother to stop him cause I really don't care, just noticed it is all.  
Okay and now for what happened today!

Taller Spork came to visit Red and I today while we were being tutored. Ever since he'd been told that he was going to be a Tallest he has been going through some sort of training. As an instructor he was never involved with anything outside of Irk, and barely anything outside of the training undergrounds. He would always tell us he didn't know what was going on because he wasn't interested.

Apparently he was told about everything on the same day we were.

"And how are my former students doing today?" Spork came in with the same good mood that he always had back in the days when he was our instructor. We both bowed and gave him a proper greeting before bombarding him with questions about the stuff he'd been doing since he left the Undergrounds. "Hold on guys! I can only answer one question at a time!" Taller Spork laughed.

"But before I answer any questions. I have a present for the both of you," he said, and from the pocket of his uniform, produced two sweet smelling snacks that he called cupcakes. Now don't get me wrong, we took and ate them happily, but getting a 'gift' is a rare occurrence and only for promotions or graduation from Smeet school (even then they don't really give anything other than your assignment and new uniforms). So needless to say, we were a bit confused.

"Presents? What for?"

"I thought we'd celebrate your birthdays. I know Red's is tomorrow but that's still close enough."

Scientist Lard Nar chuckled from behind us, where he was working with one of the computers, "since when do Irkens celebrate birthdays?"

Taller Spork smiled awkwardly and scratched his cheek, "Since I just learned about it on my last trip to Vort."

Red and I exchanged a look. "What's a birthday?" I asked.

"It's a yearly remembrance of the day you first came to life." Lard Nar explained.

"Okay…" Red said, cocking an antenna in a skeptical expression, "but how is that date significant? There's an Irken released from a pod nearly every day. Surely Vort doesn't celebrate each life like that? The celebrating would never end."

"Actually, that doesn't sound so bad," I added.

"The whole planet doesn't celebrate." Scientist Lard Nar chuckled turning away from his work to face us, "A birthday is a more private celebration, for the individual of whom it's their birthday, as well as their family or close friends."

"Irkens don't have family." Red pointed out.

"I also said close friends did I not. Your species may lack in most emotions but surely you can't tell me that you don't have at least one friend in this room."

Red and I looked at each other and laughed, conceding the point. A thought occurred to me. I looked up at Taller Spork and asked, "You said you wanted to celebrate with us; does that mean you want to be friends?" Now in all honesty I know that was a pretty disrespectful question, but that didn't occur to me at the time (not till Red punched my arm anyway).

When I realized, I started to apologize, but then Taller Spork squatted down and put his hand on my head, "Yup. That's what I mean." His eyes looked sad, "We're in this together. If you two ever need to talk, I'm only a communicator's call away." We both tried to turn him down since a smeet calling a Taller for personal matters is highly disrespectful, but he insisted. He didn't leave until we promised we would call.

Just before he Did leave... I noticed a bruise on the back of his left hand... at the base of his thumb...

Red insists that it's too far out of line for us to ever call him, but I think I might do it anyway some time. Taller Spork is going through the same stuff that Red and I are but he doesn't have his best friend by his side like we do. Neither does Tallest Miyuki for that matter. I wonder if I'd ever be able to ask her how she's doing… Probably not.

I will call Taller Spork though. I did promise after all.

It's strange to think that the first day of my life is supposed to be special. It's even stranger to think that the first day of EVERYONE'S life is supposed to be special. Especially for Smeets! We don't even really matter yet; and we won't matter until we get our assignments.

Well that's not true… I guess Red and I matter since we're going to be Tallest someday (if we survive that long). Either way I'm not planning to go talking to the other smeets about Birthdays because they would all just think I'm crazy.


	29. Year 8 Day 215 Argument and Update

**_P/N: _**_Today's question is from Can'tthinkofana…. Oh… it's from a human that couldn't think of a name to use. Well anyway, NoName asks "What do you think of forests and other natural features on earth?"_

_That's a good question. I've never actually seen a forest. I was shown a flower once. Instructor Lard Nar had it on his desk while he was still new at teaching our classes. There was such a buzz about it from all of us smeets, who have never seen anything other than the metal walls of the Underground training school, that he had to go hide it in his office. From what I've heard, a lot of medicines and scientific ideas that Vortians have come from studying the nature around them. Is Earth similar in that?_

_Well either way, I've never seen anything like that other than pictures, but I imagine it must be really cool! Some Irkens are bothered by dirt since we live our lives away from it, but I've never seen a reason to dislike dirt and nature, so I can't say I would hate it. Maybe I'll visit the Aidrolf the vacation planet someday_

* * *

**Year 8 Day 215**

Red and I got into an argument a while ago.

We were sitting in the lab while he once again tried to explain the connections with the Tallest's genome. I was listening… sort of. Honestly, it's hard to pay attention to anything when you're hungry/eating.

"You know Pur… maybe if you paid attention for once instead of always stuffing your face then you might actually learn something."

"Sorry that I'm hungry. We can't all be geniuses that can survive off the power from their PAKs. Some of us actually get up and walk around once in a while."

"Are you saying I'm not active enough?"

"Well you did lose 10 seconds faster during our last match than you have every other time."

"I also got four more hits on you. Maybe you're getting sluggish because of all those jelly doughnuts." Red reached out his skinny finger and poked me in the cheek, after I had just taken a huge bite of my Blerkleberry-filled doughnut.

I had to finish chewing and swallow before I could respond, but that would have been too polite and I didn't feel like being polite, so I just spoke with my mouth full and crumbs falling out. "You got something against blerkelberries?"

"Yeah actually! And it's not just me. Taller Spork hates the smell of them to!"

"Now how could you possibly know that?"

"I saw him gag after you bowed to him that time last week when you had eaten so many that you reeked of the things. It made me want to gag to. Seriously! You're the only Irken I know that eats those things raw."

"Nuh-ah! There are plenty of people that eat them!"

"Like who?"

"Soldier Blert!"

"And?"

"… umm…"

"See! No one eats them!"

"What about Zim! He eats them!"

"Oh nice… You really want to compare yourself to Zim as if it's a good thing?"

And that's how Red won the argument. He was right. I don't want to compare myself to Zim. Not that that's really the issue here. Red doesn't eat a lot, just enough to get by without losing any muscle mass. Meanwhile I eat more and don't really plug my PAK in that often. Only when I sleep which isn't that regularly since I get restless and go to the training center.

Lately I've been practicing my fighting against other soldiers that show up to watch Blert training me. I don't really get why they're so interested in a normal smeet (Soldier Blert assures me that no one other than the few scientists, and Miyuki's private guard, know about me possibly being a Tallest in the future). I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm a smeet being trained by a former Elite. The fact that I beat out even 12 year old smeets, who are about to graduate, could also have something to do with it.

Oh wow… there's only 3.28 years left until we graduate from here… kind of a strange thought. Leaving this place… It's all I've ever known. Through this year, I've heard a couple smeets complain about it still being over 3 years till graduation; when I brought up the subject at lunch the other day Tenn was thrilled at the idea of going out and seeing the surface. She wants to be a Scientist, though she could basically do anything, even Soldier.

Krunk flexed his muscles as he walked by, "I'm going to be an Elite!" he said.

I chuckled, "You know they only pick one or two of those a year right? With how much taller I am than you," (Krunk only reaches up to my shoulder, did I mention I'm still growing?) "Do you really think they'll have space for you?" The other's laughed but Krunk didn't look so happy, he stomped off.

I guess it's the fact that those smeet projects are due soon that everyone is feeling the excitement. Oh I guess I haven't mentioned those in a while, have I? Well basically, Red and I were excused from our projects due to obvious reasons, and since they didn't want to make it a huge issue, they excused Tenn and Zim from it also.

Even though she doesn't have to, Tenn is still working on her own project. She can't work on the old one because Elite Morab confiscated all the materials after Red and I were told the truth of the mutation. I think she's doing something with altering the frequency of the PAK leg's built in micro lasers. Something about making a force shield that could become a sphere around you. Zim seemed interested enough that he's working on a computer simulation for it (when he's not running around being crazy).

I try to keep up on what my friends are doing; it's easier now than before. I've been going to normal classes more often now since the scientists realize that I do not understand the advanced material. I just wish things weren't so complicated.


	30. Year 8 Day 325-Distracting Zim

**_P/N: _**_Question today from Mehneh. Cool name, sounds meekrobian are you from there? Anyway the question is "Purple, why do you think the Tallests all have skinny mid-rifts?"_

_The answer is simple, and it ties in to the whole mutation thing. The Irken body is made to be short and stout. Honestly some of the healthiest Irkens are going to be the ones that are nearly as wide as they are tall (Skoodge for example). It's not exactly pretty looking, but it's evidence that the body can store large amounts of energy (not including the energy in their Pak). _

_What that means is that if Skoodge and I were to fight, assuming he were as good a fighter as me, then I would become exhausted long before he would. _

_Because the mutation has the effect that there isn't enough energy to sustain the body of the Tallest (the bruising and breaking down of limbs) the mid-torso of the Irken is much smaller than their height. I guess like everything else in a Tallest's uniform,the thin grey bands in the middle are used to disguise the unhealthy appearance of the mid-rift._

* * *

**Year 8 Day 325**

I'm bored… me and my fellow yearlings were given a week off of classes in order to complete our projects. Of course I was excused from my project so there is basically nothing to do.

Soldier Blert is gone, so I don't have anyone good to practice against (there's a few other soldiers but none of them are nearly as good). Don't get me wrong, I'm still practicing. If I ever took it too easy then I'd probably get beat so badly the next time Soldier Blert came back that I would have bruises for days!

Skoodge came by yesterday to ask if I could keep Zim away from him for the week so he can finish his project, but honestly I don't feel like dealing with Zim on a free week so I probably won't go.

[Updated]  
Well I'm stupid but I went and dragged Zim away from Skoodge and Larb. In a way it was funny because Larb looked like he could have hugged me (of course I hate him and he knows it so he never would have even tried).

Anyway, I needed practice so I took Zim with me to the practice room and told him to spar with me.

"Ehh… Zim wouldn't want to hurt you." Was his answer. He just didn't want to get hurt himself. So to make it more interesting I told him he could use PAK legs. Of course the fact didn't occur to me that to Zim this mean PAK legs, lasers, force shields, plasma orbs, and any other weapon he had sneaked away from our classes.

That practice match… was dookie…

"Purple-stink, do not complain if the Almighty Zim kills you where you stand."

"I'm pretty sure I'll be fine."

Because I knew Zim was still scared (his antennae were still a bit low) I figured he wouldn't start. I made the first attack. A basic feint to the left cheek followed by a sweep to the feet. Zim was on his PAK legs and in the air before I even realized that he had them out.

Now here's the thing. Fighting an Irken who is using their PAK legs is hard. You can't hurt what you can't hit. Even though I'm nearly double his height, Zim was still nearly 10 feet above my head, and since he's so short, that's a pretty small target area.

**There are two ways to fight an Irken using their PAK:**  
1) Use your own PAK.  
2) If you don't have one (or have agreed to not use it like I did), you have to either get up to them, or bring them down to your own height.  
3) Surrender Immediately.

**Get up to their height:****  
**This is what is referred to as _Gaining the High Ground._ It's a simple military tactic. Gravity pulls everything down so if you fire down at something, the shot is less likely to fall short of your target. Hills or stairways are good if you have them. Beware of climbing onto boxes or ladders as these are not stationary objects, and the Irken attacker is trained to do whatever it takes to knock you off balance. Besides a ladder falling backwards, with you on it, is painful.

**Bringing them down to your height: **  
**a) Break the PAK legs: **The bionic extension limbs are light, meaning they Could break… but it's really hard to do. The further out from the PAK the stronger the metal alloys. Breakages usually only occur in the first two links off the base of the PAK; if you have a laser aim for this area.  
_Avoid attacking the individual extensions!_ There are 4 of them. Besides being a small target, each has a dangerous sharpened tip on them. It only takes 2 (when used by an expert) to balance on, meaning that 2 are available for fighting. A true master can actually maneuver them so quickly that they may only have 1 extension on the ground at a time; however, they would be moving so fast during this time that you would be more concerned with dodging attacks than launching one.  
**b) Force them into a shorter area: **Not all ceilings are the same height. If possible, you can lead the Irken into a building or a room where the lower ceiling will force them down some (if not all) of the way to the ground.

For my situation, option 2b was the best.

In one corner of the open combat room there is a shelving unit. To store lasers, canons, plasma shields, ect. for war practice. The shelf is around 6ft off the ground, with a ladder leading up to it. The width and length were sufficient that if I stood against the wall, both Zim and I would be under it. Only problem with that is I'd have my back to a wall, and would be trapped. Not a good thing.

But worth a shot. I made a break for the other side of the room. I kind of felt bad for all the younger smeets that got shoved out of the way as I dashed through their battle areas. I think we got yelled at by some instructors but Zim never listens when he's got a target so it was run or possibly get seriously hurt.

Using his PAK legs, Zim was faster than me. He cut me off twice, jabbing a sharpened point at me. Both times I barely managed to dodge and ran underneath him. I made it to the back of the room.

The shelf was supported by two columns, so I ducked behind one.

"Pathetic Purple-Stink! Doing nothing but run! Beg now and Zim might spare you."

"I knew you were stupid. Didn't know you were a coward to!" I yelled back. My taunting worked.

Zim made some grunting noises of frustration. "FOOL! Zim fears Nothing!"

Now a smart Irken (or other being) would notice that I was standing under a shelf that was completely filled with boxes of destructive weaponry, items capable of exploding. I mean come on! It's common sense that if something can potentially explode you don't shake/heat/smash or otherwise jumble the item.

Not Zim though.

First thing that little defect does is shoot a sustained fine-point laser beam right at the pillar, in an attempt to cut through it. The melting of the pillar shook a box loose from the shelf and it fell down on me, I managed to block most of the impact with a swipe of my hand but it was a metal box so it still hurt. I dove out from under the shelf before he could shoot at it again.

"Idiot! Are you trying to kill me!?"

Zim laughed. "Of course Fool!"

"Great…" I dodged a few more laser bursts and ran underneath him again. This time I hooked my arm around one of his PAK legs and swung myself around for a quick direction change. It also had the effect of pulling Zim slightly off balance. He swore and thrust the top right extension at me. Again I hooked it and used it to maneuver.

I think it was around this time that we started drawing a crowd. Instructors, smeets, and even the battle-room medic came over to watch. I was told later on that Instructor Zexfra actually stopped her class and had them watch us while she commented on what was done right and wrong in our battle.

It took a while but eventually the fight ended because Zim basically tied his extensions in a knot from trying to chase me. It was so bad that a Technician had to come and help him get it undone. I just about died laughing.

I should actually quit writing now. When that box fell on me it bruised the back of my hand. Ehh… whatever it will heal in a day or two.


	31. Year 8 Day 329-The Bruise

**Year 8 Day 329**

"What's that on the back of your hand?"

"Huh? It's nothing."

"If it's nothing then why are you hiding it?"

"Jeeze! I said it's nothing. Look! See? It's just a bruise I got when I was fight with Zim earlier."

"Fighting with Zim? You mean that sparing match where you two almost blew up the combat room?"

"Yeah so?"

"Pur that was 4 days ago! Why isn't this healed?!"

I yanked my hand away from Red. "I got it when a huge metal crate fell on me. Bruises like that always take a couple days to heal."

"A couple! Meaning two or three! Not 4!"

"Oh my Vort Red! Why are you freaking out so much!" Sure the bruise looked bad but I'd gotten it in a relatively dangerous situation. I mean come on! I'd smashed the side of a metal crate before it fell on my head! He couldn't possibly expect that to not cause damage. Even now it still hurts as I'm writing.

"Look at where it is and tell me that doesn't bother you."

I looked. The bruise just covered from around the base of my wrist to the base of my thumb then up to the knuckle of my primary finger. "So what? That's the area I parried the box with."

"So what?! Purple! A bruise on the thumb! That's how it starts!"

"How what starts?"

Red's antennae dropped right in time with his jaw, and he stared at me utterly dumbfounded. Yeah it was stupid but I had totally forgotten about the whole mutation thing. I mean over the past half-year I have managed to actually have some fun and feel like I'm just a normal smeet. I couldn't help it that I forgot, of course that didn't stop Red from reminding me.

"Oh… that…" I said casually, "no I didn't forget. It's just didn't think that it had anything to do with smashing my hand into a crate."

Red didn't really like that response. He threw a huge fit then dragged me down to the labs for the other scientists to take a look at my hand. To make a long story short… we're now waiting for test results. From what I heard, Almighty Tallest Miyuki is on her way back here right now. Taller Spork came in to check on me also. He just left to consult with the scientists. Red is with them also so I'm sitting all alone. It's bore

[update]  
So as I was writing all that, Tallest Miyuki came into the room. Out of habit I hid the tablet and slipped it into my PAK. I stood and bowed, saluting with my antennae like we're supposed to.

"How are you feeling?" she asked. She floated over and sat down on the couch that I had just jumped up from, gesturing for me to sit beside her. I did, albeit hesitantly. I didn't really like the look in her eyes, like she was genuinely scared for me, and that scared me more than anything.

"I'm fine. Red's making a big deal out of nothing. I just bruised it on a box during a combat practice bout."

"May I?" Her armguard-encased hand with its two long skinny fingers poking out of it reached out and took my hand. The scientists had taken some skin samples from the back of my hand so it was swathed in bandages. Her long fingers felt strange as they maneuvered around, peeling away the layers of wrapping; almost like small rods, cold and solid, not even the slight softness of skin or muscle on them, but even still they were gentle as one long finger felt around the area of the bruise. I started to feel really nervous so I pulled my hand away. "Sorry," my Tallest apologized to me, "did that hurt?"

"No.. I just…" I cleared my throat to stop my stammering, plus I thought a change in subject was in order. "So um… What are you doing back on Irk, my Tallest? I thought you were all the way at Meekrob?"

Tallest Miyuki nodded, "I was, but I thought this required my attention so I returned." I just couldn't hold her gaze. "What's the matter? Are you unhappy that I am here?"

My antennae popped straight in the air! The very idea of not being happy to see my tallest would be ridiculous! "What?! No! I didn't mean it like that! I was just so surprised you would take the time to…" I hurried to correct my behavior only to find her laughing. I just stared in confusion, unable to say anything, due to having no idea what was the right thing to say. When she noticed my expression she only laughed harder. She rested her hand (armguard) on my head; her two fingers gripped my skull and wiggled my head side to side, kind of like the way an older smeet would to a younger smeet, teasingly.

Her eyes were squinted shut as she brought her laughter down to a manageable level. Still chuckling she said, "I'm sorry but that face you just made was so much like a friend of mine that I couldn't help it. Ha-ha, goodness I haven't laughed like that in years." Those blue eyes that hit me were filled with so many memories that even I couldn't fail to notice.

"Is it because you have no one to talk to?"

She smiled and wiggled my head again, "I still have my friends, even if I don't see them as often." Her eyes glanced towards the door then back to me, "thank you for your concern though. I really do appreciate it Purple." I looked up at her, surprised again. I sure end up surprised a lot. But a Tallest doesn't normally call another Irken by name without their title before it… actually… no Irkens really say another's name without a title. You have to have known someone for a really long time to do that. And even then it's most often only those you're close to; like me and Red.

If Almighty Miyuki was calling me by name without saying Smeet or Younger or Little or something similar…. It's an honor. I took a chance.

"Umm… my Tallest… I was wondering… if you… would like to be friends."

My heart jumped when she smiled, looking happier than she had any other time I'd ever seen her. "Thank you Purple. I would like that." I'm sure I was smiling like an idiot at that point, cause she laughed again and wiggled my head. Then she finally removed her hand. Although I admit, it was kind of comforting feeling it there.

We sat for a while, just talking about random things. The bout with Zim, what it's like in the above ground world, our favorite doughnut flavors (I was excited to learn that Miyuki likes raw Blerkelberrys also! I get to rub it in Red's face later!), and some other stuff that by the time Scientist Lard Nar came in I had completely forgotten why I was sitting in that cold medical room.

/ Test Result  
Positive Degradation of Dermal tissue  
0.005% Breakdown of Chromosomal Structure  
High Antibody Reaction -Ineffective  
Degeneration of Cellular Structure in progress

/Result/

Fatal


End file.
